Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Maddy had taken Cree upstairs to bathe him and get him ready for bed. Blaise had driven us here, then left to go meet Huck, Levi, and Gage. They had some business that would be taking them out of town for a few days. Although I’d told Maddy I would be fine back at the house, alone, she’d insisted, saying she could use the female company.
Deep down, I’d known she was worried about my mental health and leaving me alone. She had found me in the garden shed behind the house. I was checked out, having one of my episodes, rocking back and forth on the floor. When I came back from the dark corner of my brain I’d escaped to, her blue eyes were the first thing I saw. For a moment, I had stared at her silently, unsure of where I was. At first glance, she looked like an angel. As in an otherworldly being. Her platinum hair, perfect heart-shaped face, blue eyes, and genuine smile were shocking. Then, she spoke. Introduced herself and held out her hand for me. She stood up, pulling me with her. Then wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.
I was stunned. I wasn’t sure anyone other than Hayes had ever hugged me and meant it. Sure, the church people at his funeral had hugged me, but that had been required. This woman had done it because she wanted to.
She wrapped me in a large white towel and talked about everything from the weather, to her son, to how nice and clean the house was and asking me if I’d done that, to telling me that she was happy to have another female around. Somehow, she’d managed to get my thoughts off of what had happened with Huck in the shed until she opened the door to him saying how I wasn’t worthy of Hayes and calling me a lying slut.
Why did I want the man to touch me when he always ended up hurting me? Was it because of my past? Was I so broken that his cruelty was a turn-on for me? Or was it that, deep down, I thought that was what I deserved?
“Mommy!” I heard Cree calling out as little feet hit the ground running. “Hut asshoooole!” Then, he giggled.
“Cree, I told you to stop saying that. It’s not a nice word. Mommy is sorry she said it,” Maddy told him.
They were downstairs now and coming this way. I could hear their footsteps getting closer.
Cree wasn’t running full blast just yet. It was more of a wobbly run, where he looked like he might tumble over at any moment. Maddy had told me he turned one last month. He was doing really well for his age. When he entered the room, he saw me and grinned, then clapped his hands before noticing a red toy car on the floor and making his way over to pick it up.
Maddy followed him into the great room, as she had called it earlier. She sighed and pushed her hair back out of her face. “Bathing him should be an Olympic sport,” she said with a smile. “How about you help me drink a bottle of wine once I get him in bed?”
I nodded. “That sounds good.”
She turned her gaze to Cree and smiled lovingly at him. My chest squeezed. That was what it was like to have a mom. Lucky little boy. He was loved. He was wanted. Maddy squatted down and opened her arms up wide. Cree turned to see her and dropped his toy, then ran over to her, wrapping his arms around her neck.
“La lu, Mommy,” he said, nuzzling his little face close to hers.
“I love you most,” she replied, then stood up with him in her arms. Her gaze came back to mine. “I’ll be back in a bit. Go to the kitchen and fix yourself a snack. Make yourself at home. Whatever we have, you’re welcome to it.”
I stood there and watched her walk away, holding her son, and my chest ached so bad that if I could still cry, I would be a mess right now. She wanted me to make myself at home. That was laughable. I hadn’t truly ever had one of those. My apartments hadn’t been home. They had just been a place to live. There was never a place with family who loved me to call home.
What must that feel like?
I had watched how her husband looked at her. It was as if the sun rose and set at her feet. She was beautiful and kind. It was easy to see why he loved her.
I had often wondered why Hayes loved me. He never gave me reasons. He never said the words but he’d wanted to marry me. I had thought that meant he loved me.