Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 99675 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 498(@200wpm)___ 399(@250wpm)___ 332(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99675 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 498(@200wpm)___ 399(@250wpm)___ 332(@300wpm)
But we went home and had wild monkey sex. Yeah, I remember.
On the edge of my vision, I see Pitt trying to back out of the office. “Stay right where you are, Pitt,” I practically growl. He freezes. My attention whips in his direction. “I want all the paperwork regarding my case emailed to me ASAP.”
“Absolutely. The case is closed. I went a step further and expunged all mention of it from your record.”
“You’re dismissed.”
Pitt scurries out of the room without another word. Looking into the flat, sorrowful eyes of the man I love, a pain so caustic burns my lungs that it’s impossible to breathe. Rubbing the ache is pointless, nothing can soothe the hole in my chest.
“You know the worst part––I’m not surprised. I should’ve known you would never do anything to jeopardize your precious career. You would never risk being disbarred.” I repeated the words I had heard him say all those months ago.
He takes a step forward. “Amber, listen, I never meant––”
“Don’t.” I hold out my hands to stop him from coming any closer. “You manipulated me. The one thing you know I can’t stomach.” He extends a hand, reaching for me, but I step back in time to evade him.
“Damn it! I didn’t know you were offered the part. You didn’t tell me. I thought we were friends. I thought we were in this together!”
“I did tell you!”
“After the fact––you told me after. And by then it was too late. I’ve been dreading this for weeks because...” He exhales sharply, his head shaking, “because I knew once you found out I’d lose you. You’re so goddamn hard to get close to. I just…I wanted a little more time with you. I needed a little more time…”
A heavy, suffocating, silence falls.
“For what?”
I glance at his face and watch him swallow, his eyes wide and filled with worry, hold mine. “To show you how much I love you,” he murmurs quietly, the edge of his voice as rough as sandpaper.
Shock turns into numbness. I can’t feel a thing. Not my tongue, not my limbs. I’m not even sure my heart is still beating. Not in a million years did I expect this. Maybe if I hadn’t discovered his lie, maybe someday in the future. But not now, and not under these circumstances. Which is what gives me pause. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Is he telling the truth? Is he manipulating my feelings for him? He must know. He must know how I feel about him. And how can I trust him after everything that’s transpired. I refuse to let ridiculous romantic notions make an ass out of me again.
“I’m so in love with you I don’t know which way is up, or down anymore. I can’t see anything past it. There’s only you and what I feel for you. The rest is an endless, meaningless fucking void.”
“So you thought lying to me would work?”
“No.” His gaze moves away from me. “No, that’s called desperation. I didn’t know how to stop you from leaving. I’m sorry.”
“Why wouldn’t you ask me to stay? Why wouldn’t you try honesty?”
“I…” His brow wrinkles, skepticism drawn into the grooves. “Would you have stayed if I asked?”
He really doesn’t know. He has no idea how I feel about him. Or if he does, he doesn’t believe it. But that sneaking suspicion that he may be manipulating me gets right in my face with a bullhorn before I can spill my guts and tell him everything. I can’t keep making the same mistake over and over again. This madness has to stop. Unicorns aren’t real. Time to accept that fact.
That’s why for the first time in my adult life I don’t let my heart rule my intellect. I do the responsible thing, the safe thing. I pull it back and tuck it away.
“I’ll forever be grateful for everything you’ve done for me.” My voice cracks. Everything turns blurry, unshed tears gathering at the bottom of my lids make it hard to see.
June walks in after a quick rap on his door. “Sorry, but you weren’t answering the intercom. Mr. Tomlinson is here.”
“Tell him I’ll be a while,” Ethan orders, more brusquely than I’ve ever heard him speak to any of his employees.
“Don’t, June. I’m on my way out,” I say wiping tears away.
June closes the door quietly.
“Amber…”
For a moment I catch a glimpse of him, the skinny boy with glasses, the one that followed his brother around because he didn’t have friends of his own. And my heart breaks for him because manipulation and subterfuge are all he knows, what he’s always relied upon. He thinks it’s the only way to get what he so desperately wants, which is to be loved and valued for who he is, to be put first. And the crazy thing is that I would have––had he only asked.