Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Jared was a champ.
He’d saved me.
Something I’d never forget.
But I also hadn’t forgotten that I’d twice told him I loved him and so far he hadn’t said it back.
Perhaps it was because I’d been on my way home to hash out our relationship. Maybe he wanted to wait to talk about it all when I was better. From the way he hovered over me, I couldn’t believe that he didn’t return my feelings. I remembered his emotional response when I woke up in that hospital bed.
So what was holding him back?
It was a thought for another time because today Mamma and Aria were visiting. Jared had gone to check on the farm, which he’d left in Georgie’s capable hands, and Sarah and Theo had made an excuse to leave so I could be alone with my mother and sister.
“Where’s Dad?” I asked as Mamma sat next to me on the sofa and took my hand in hers. She’d been clingy lately. And very affectionate.
Aria and Mamma exchanged a look before Mamma sighed. “I need some time, so I moved into Aria and North’s while your father is still here. He is going to visit you later today, alone.”
I covered Mamma’s hand. “I get it. I’m glad you’re taking the time you need.”
“You know …” She held my gaze and I saw shame in it. “I was so angry at you before the accident. It was easier to be angry at you than at your papà. Then when North told us your car had gone over the hillside …” Mamma sucked in a shaky breath, tears sliding down her beautiful face. “I was so scared.”
“I’m here, Mamma.”
“I know.” She cupped my cheek. “But you could have died and it would have been with a mother who put her needs before her child.” Mamma turned to look at Aria, heartbreak on her face. “I am so sorry that it has taken almost losing both my daughters to be a good mother.”
“Mamma.” Aria got up from the armchair and crossed the room to sit down on our mother’s other side.
“Maybe it is punishment for not being better.”
“What’s punishment?”
“What has happened to you both.”
Aria sighed, rubbing Mamma’s back. “Everyone has ups and downs, Mamma. Money doesn’t protect people from pain. But look at where we ended up. Both Allegra and I have found what we love and need here. Now it’s time for you to figure out what you need.”
Mamma nodded, grabbing our hands. “I have two very kind daughters who inspire me to be kinder.”
Tears burned in my eyes at her words, and she turned to look at me. Her face crumpled. “I am so sorry I ever raised a hand to you. Or that I was so blinded by my own hurt that I could not see how much this mess between me and your father hurt you.”
“I forgive you,” I promised.
She squeezed my hand tighter. “I never wanted to be a woman who ever touched her child in anger. My mother often would slap me when we were alone and pinch me in hidden places when others were around, and I vowed never to cause that hurt to my daughters. It is my greatest shame that I did.”
I was shocked at this revelation about Nonna. We didn’t see our Italian grandparents a lot, but the few times we had, Nonna was a jolly, affectionate lady. Though in hindsight, she did criticize Mamma a lot. I just thought it was their dynamic. Now, as Aria and I shared a look, I had to wonder if it was more than just distance and time that kept our visits with Nonna and Nonno few and far between. Once again, I was met with the sad realization that we didn’t really know our parents all that well.
I wanted that to change. I didn’t want to hold on to resentment or see only the bad in our relationship. Yes, my parents had always been a little distant, a little too busy, but before that day I walked in on my father with another woman, I’d been a kid who knew she was loved by her parents. There were plenty of happy memories together as a family. I wanted to hold on to those memories. I wanted to forgive. For me and Aria more than anyone.
“You never did hurt me before then or since.” I leaned into Mamma. “People make mistakes. What matters is learning from them. Right? I forgive you.”
Mamma nodded, eyes bright with heartbreak. “You are an angel, tesoro. I cannot believe I almost lost you.”
“I’m right here.”
“So what now?” Aria patted Mamma’s leg.
She knew what my sister was asking. Letting out a shuddering breath, she replied, “I do not know. For now, I just want to be with my children.”
Resting my head on Mamma’s shoulder, I whispered, “We can do that.”