Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
His eyes widened slightly and I realized he had. He’d forgotten. Jared swallowed hard and looked away. “It was my dad. We dealt with that. You’re safe here.”
What could have Jared so preoccupied that he’d forget that only a few weeks ago he was worried about leaving me alone? “Whatever you’re avoiding, please stop. The Jared I know wouldn’t treat me like this.”
Pain tightened his features. “Treat you like what?”
“Like I don’t matter. Like I’m a nuisance you married for money.”
At the hurt in my voice, Jared blanched. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”
“Then please talk to me.”
Bracing his hands on the back of the couch, Jared bowed his head. It was the posture of defeat.
Fear cut through me.
No.
No, please.
He looked up, eyes blazing. “I think we should take a break.”
The breath knocked out of me, I shook my head, unable to voice the question.
Jared answered, anyway. “I think we’ve been living in this weird bubble together and not thinking about the reality of a real relationship long term. So maybe we should just take some time to see if this life, here, together, is what we both want.”
“What?” The air whooshed out of me and I stumbled back, falling down into the armchair. “I don’t under… why?”
“We don’t fit.”
Rage-filled confusion made me growl, “Bullshit!”
The muscle in Jared’s jaw ticked. “I don’t mean … I mean, it’s possible that long term we don’t fit. Look, it became very clear last night that you and I are living in a fucking fantasy right now. We are totally different people and sooner or later, it might dawn on you that you’re actually miserable being married to a Highland farmer.” He opened his arms wide. “This is my life. I’m not going to jet-set around the world whenever you feel like it. I don’t want to.”
I was even more confused and pissed off at that stupid explanation. “Who said I did? Did my parents say something to you?”
“Only the truth. And it wasn’t just them. Allegra, you fit back into that world with ease because you were born into it. You are used to privilege, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not about money because I know you have your own. It’s about the lifestyle, which I can’t give you, and I don’t want to be the person who takes you from it. Frankly, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to live up to it. Feeling like I’m not good enough. Like the life we have isn’t good enough. So I think we both need to take some time to think about if this is what we want.”
Flying to my feet again, I rounded the couch to approach him. “Have I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough?”
“No.” Jared crossed his arms over his chest, his body language screaming back off. “But in time … it might happen. I might make you feel trapped here. And if that happens, we’ll just end up resenting each other.”
I couldn’t believe he was saying all this.
Only the day before yesterday, we’d been so happy.
Or had we?
Maybe … it was Jared who needed time to think. He did keep saying “we,” even though he only mentioned me. But maybe Jared, the perpetual bachelor, was growing bored. Maybe the party last night was just an excuse …
“Oh God.” I stepped away from him, suddenly needing distance. “Did you … did you know you felt like this when we came back here last night?” My expression was baleful.
He flinched. “Allegra—”
“Did you know?” I yelled.
Jared looked away. “I didn’t want to … I wasn’t sure. That’s why I needed today to think it through. And I’m not saying it’s over. I’m just saying we should take a minute. A break.”
Resentment and bitterness soured my tongue. “But you made sure you thoroughly fucked me in case you decided it was over.”
His eyes flashed. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Like hell it wasn’t.” My stomach was sick as I retreated. “You …you knew and you … you used me.”
“Allegra …” Jared stepped toward me, something like panic in his expression, but I couldn’t register it. All I could see was someone I didn’t recognize. How could I have thought I loved this man when I didn’t recognize him at all?
I felt so cold, I physically trembled as I turned and blindly walked into the hall, looking for my car keys.
“Allegra, it wasn’t like that.” Jared followed me as I grabbed the keys off the sideboard. He took hold of my arm but the thought of him touching me made me lose it.
“Don’t touch me!” I shrieked. The tears that had been locked inside blurred my vision as I wrenched open the door. “You are just like every man I have ever known. Except worse. Because I was stupid enough to think you loved me when all this time I was just a convenient piece of ass. What’s worse is you standing there pretending this is all about what I want when clearly, you’re the one who wants the break.” Shoving out of the door, I stumbled toward the car.