Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 38786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 194(@200wpm)___ 155(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 194(@200wpm)___ 155(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
“Then you should have been more cautious about who you offered it to.”
He scoffs at me like I don’t have the right to be upset as well. “Come on, Kels. Not all the blame belongs on my shoulders. You could have said no.”
“You promised to try harder!”
He scrubs at the back of his neck when my shouted words gain the attention of people wanting to keep the vibe Christmassy. “Then I realized it shouldn’t have been that hard. Loving someone shouldn’t be a fucking chore you have to force yourself to do day in and day out.”
Ouch. Knowing he saw me as a chore hurts.
It hurts more than walking in on him fingering the baker on the same bench our wedding cake was to be made on, and it hurts too much for me to hold my tongue anymore.
I did that for a week. I refuse to do it for a second longer.
“You’re right. Love shouldn’t be hard. But that doesn’t give you the right to cheat. You should have left first. You should have told me it wasn’t working.” I thrust my hand like Noelle is standing at our right. “You should have let her pick her own damn tree instead of stealing mine.”
“Is that what this is about? Is that why you’re holding my mother’s ring hostage? Because you’re angry we picked up your tree?!” His words get louder with each one he shouts. “You weren’t going to pick it up, Kels. You were too busy moping in your room.”
“Because my fiancé cheated on me with the baker hired to make our wedding cake!”
I whack into him with a bag full of Christmas lights until I’m exhausted, then I dart in the opposite direction of where he came from.
Just as I whizz past the department store, Zane exits it. “They only had one box of mint, so I got—” He stops talking when he notices how red my cheeks are. “Kelsey…” He slings his eyes in the direction Peter is still standing before following me into the cab I slip into even with the queue being two blocks long.
The taxi driver waits for a charity Santa to remind the crowd that Christmas is also the time for forgiveness before seeking an opening in traffic. “The best gift you can give anyone this Christmas is forgiveness.” Santa locks his eyes with Zane during the last part of his reply. “Forgiveness costs nothing, but the rewards could be endless.”
With Zane as shocked by Santa’s sudden arrival as I was Peter’s, we’re almost halfway home before he asks, “Do you want to talk about what happened back there?”
Mindful he means Peter and not Santa, I shake my head. “No.”
“Kels—” I shut him up in the only way I know will weaken the burn circling my heart. I hug his hips with my knees, and then I kiss him.
He accepts the strokes of my tongue and the needy nips of my lips, but he doesn’t kiss me back. He doesn’t weave his fingers through my hair or meet my rocks. He stays motionless. Still. He forces all the weight back onto me.
“Kiss me.”
I hear his headshake more than I see it. Then rejection smashes into me hard and fast when he adds a single word to his reply. “No.”
When I attempt to dismount him, too devastated to remain straddling the lap of another man who no longer wants me, Zane grips my wrists and pulls me back onto him. “If you want to kiss me until you can’t taste the garbage his mouth spilled, kiss me. If you want to revenge fuck him out of your mind with my body, fuck me. Use me to erase the pain, Kelsey. But don’t ask me to stoop to his level again. Not now. Not after I’ve realized how much I could have fucked this up the night we met.”
It dawns on me that he’s still clueless I came onto him when he says, “I should have never taken advantage of you when you were vulnerable about something a douche with a bad combover did.” He tilts his head to align our eyes. “But if you need me, use me however you see fit. Just keep Peter out of it because he doesn’t deserve to be a part of this any more than he deserved to be a part of you…”
I break as the last word leaves his lips.
CHAPTER 10
Kelsey
Have you ever met a giddy crier? You know, those people who get so embarrassed they got upset they spend the rest of the day in a fit of giggles?
I’m one of those people.
During the short drive from Ravenshoe downtown to my apartment building, I cried enough tears to soak two circular imprints in Zane’s casual white shirt. I wasn’t upset about the end of my engagement. I’d overcome that neurosis during the week I was snowed in with the overly affectionate yet still PG rated couple.