Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 59713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 299(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 299(@200wpm)___ 239(@250wpm)___ 199(@300wpm)
The L word. The big one. There was no other explanation. I had infatuations before that. I had women that I enjoyed the company of dearly or enthusiastically. But none had ever made me feel this. None had ever made me feel like changing the world just for her. I had to accept it.
I was already in love with her.
CHAPTER 23
CAMILLA
I didn’t mean for that to happen like that. It wasn’t that I was trying to hide my past from Alex. It was my reality and what made me who I was. There was no point in trying to pretend I hadn’t gone through what I had. But I wasn’t expecting to just let everything pour out of me like that.
That was the kind of backstory that needed to come with some preparation. Maybe be broken up into smaller pieces so they would be more easily digestible. Me unloading on him all at once like that had to be a bit on the overwhelming side. But he’d taken it all in and handled it admirably well.
He’d taken me into his arms and held me so I could get all the crying out. He hadn’t even run away screaming, so I took that as a win. It wouldn’t have surprised me at all if he had reacted that way. I was even prepared for him to start out acting like everything was fine and he was going to be able to handle it, but then when things sank in, realize just how much it was and disappear.
I wasn’t proud to admit it to myself, but I spent the next couple of hours feeling suspicious every time he got up. Whether it was going to the bathroom or just going to get a cup of tea for me, I was positive it was a cover for wriggling out of a window somewhere and I was never going to see him again. It was amazing just how far my brain could twist things and suspend reality when I was dealing with the ghosts of my past.
But he didn’t do either. Alex gave no indication that what I’d told him changed how he felt or made him want to rethink what was happening between us. He settled in on Saturday, surrounding me in his comfort and reassurance, and spent the rest of the day being there for me.
We watched movies and dozed together on the couch. We talked about happier memories and our childhoods, sharing funny stories and getting to know each other a little more with every passing hour. And those hours stretched on without Alex making any move to leave, without him saying he needed to get home or that he had things he had to do the next day.
The wonderful and welcome surprise of him being so open and accepting about everything I told him only got better when he didn’t leave at all on Saturday. We curled into each other’s arms in bed that night and slept as if the rest of the world didn’t exist, and life started for both of us the moment that we met.
Sunday morning I woke up still feeling a little trembly but far better than I had. It was indescribable waking up in Alex’s arms and knowing it wasn’t just the convenience of falling asleep after sex. Not that that was always wrong, but there was something really nice about not having those awkward moments wondering how long we were going to stay like that or when he was going to get up and get dressed to leave.
I knew he wasn’t going to stay forever. This wasn’t one of those rom coms where the couple spends a night together and a moving truck shows up the next day. He didn’t have mysterious minions who sensed our growing closeness and were at work as we lay there, packing up his life and readying it to merge with mine. Not only did that just not happen in life, but if we were going to go dancing down that fanciful path, it would most definitely not end with him stuffing himself and his possessions into my tiny little cramped apartment. I hadn’t seen his place yet, but from the looks of the vineyard and some of the things I’d heard from people, I could only imagine it had a couple of steps up on me.
“What are you thinking about?” Alex asked, cuddling me close to his side and kissing the top of my head.
“Nothing in particular. Kind of wondering what your place looks like.”
“Well, maybe I’ll bring you there to see it after dinner tonight.”
That seemed like a very specific timeline for the day, and I lifted my head up off his chest to give him a questioning look.
“After dinner?” I asked. “Did we have plans I forgot about?”