Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 148434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
My pulse is on an immediate ascent. “No, no…this is just a project for Maximoff and Farrow. It’s not…” I stop myself because my aunts and my mom wear these loving smiles.
My mom deserts her wine glass on the crate. “You just spent thirty minutes telling us everything from food options to table arrangements. And I wish we had a mirror, Jane, because if you saw yourself, you wouldn’t be questioning anything.”
Everything slows around me.
The air whistles and my skin chills. Is it possible for a love of something so deep to creep up on you without even knowing? Without even searching?
How long have I explored far and wide for a passion that I could turn into a career? And here it found me…triggering a yearning that I haven’t felt before.
My heart opens completely. To possibility. A future. Where I smooth chaos and solve puzzles and juggle madness all at once. And seeing, feeling the spellbinding happiness of loving partners on their special day.
The image…it fills me.
“I could plan other weddings besides Maximoff and Farrow’s,” I say, hopeful, letting that reality into the air.
My mom looks at me like I’m her daughter. Flesh and blood come to life. “You can do anything, gremlin.”
Anything.
I choose this.
“Thank you,” I breathe.
I’m not sure I would have been able to see what was in front of me without them. I touch my watering eyes. Lily is sniffling, already crying. Daisy passes her a tissue.
My mom wafts a hand at her face, drying her eyes before they well up. “I hate you all. I’m wearing fresh mascara.”
We laugh.
“Speaking of Scotland.” Daisy tosses a chocolate chip in her mouth. “Tell us everything that happened with you and the spritely hunk.”
Spritely hunk.
I love my family dearly.
How do I describe Thatcher? I’ve tried to before, but this is different. We’ve spent over thirty days stuck in a house together. We spent a night trapped in a car. I’ve broken up with him, made up with him, and he’s still embraced me fully, without compromise.
I love him.
I smile into a soft breath. That much has been clear. But… “I shouldn’t need him so much, and I find myself aching to be swallowed whole too often to be healthy.” Setting the beer aside, I hug the binder to my chest and bend my knees. “I’m scared to love him, but God, I do. So infinitely and terribly.”
It’s a truth I’ve never shared with them. One I’ve become much better at expressing aloud.
My mom leans forward and takes my hand in hers. Our eyes close, noses near, and I hang onto every word as she says, “You’re not two halves, Jane. You don’t lose when you love. You gain.” She draws closer to whisper, “You have all of him.”
And he has all of me.
Not yet.
I consistently pull back on Thatcher.
Realizations wash over me coolly. “All this time, I thought love is a compromise of equals. 50-50. But it’s not…is it?”
She leans back and gives me another pointed look. “With the right person, they’ll ensure you’re always whole.”
A dam bursts inside of me. Freeing all restraints, and a feeling flutters so wildly. I rise quickly. Hurried. “I have to go. I have to…” I can hardly release the words into the air.
“Go.” Her eyes twinkle and she waves towards the hatch.
My pulse beats and beats, and I scale down the ladder. Cold air nipping my neck and bare feet.
“Where is she going?” Aunt Lily asks, her voice carrying behind me.
“To make a grand gesture.” My mom has to be smiling. I hear it beneath her words.
“We’re following her, right?” Aunt Daisy asks, hopeful.
“Grab your coats,” my mom tells them as I drop down to the soft grass. Snow melted a few days ago, and I sprint.
Really, it’s a light jog.
I head down the driveway into the cul-de-sac and race up the neighborhood street. Gated and safe, no irksome bodyguard named Tony needed.
Cold slices my lungs, and I keep pace, reaching the long, winding driveway of the Cobalt Estate. My childhood home.
Naked tulip trees frame the driveway, and I take a single breath before ascending the path. Thatcher was invited to an Outlander marathon with Eliot and Audrey. Since he was off-duty tonight, he agreed to go. I love that he’s spending time with my siblings like they’re his own.
Sentiments whirl around me. Fuel me.
I run harder.
I’m out of breath as I reach the ornate fountain that guards a castle-like mansion. Icicles drip off the stone fountain, but its not frozen solid. The sound of rushing water calms my spinning brain, and I text Thatcher to meet me outside.
Fifteen seconds later, the door swings open, and Thatcher emerges, all six-foot-seven of him. Bold and quiet and assertive.
“Thatcher,” I greet deeply.
“Jane,” he says just as fully. He assesses me in a sweep. Lingering on my bare feet, pajamas, and lack of coat in the winter. He’s already removing his brown leather jacket while he closes the door behind him.