Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 68814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 344(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 344(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
“And not that you’re not, you know, pretty.” He looked like he’d just lied through his teeth. “It’s just that I think I originally fell in love with you because of her.”
Well, it was official.
I felt like I was going to break.
It might be official this time.
This would be when I realized that I was never going to be able to find another man without worrying about him falling in love with my sister.
“So, I know that it’s a problem and all, but do you think she’d take my number?” he babbled, halfway not making sense.
I clenched my jaw and stared at him, wondering if I could get away with punching him in the throat, or if he’d actually grow a pair of balls and fight back.
My luck he’d remember he had them and swing and I wouldn’t be able to get away in time.
I wasn’t a fighter.
My dad had seen to that.
I was more of a lie there in a ball and hope that I didn’t get too many broken ribs kind of person.
“No?” Benji asked, getting annoyed now that I hadn’t answered him.
I counted to ten in my head, then calmly got up, grabbed my bag, and headed for the door.
“You’re going to leave?” Benji asked. “I thought you were going to order dinner?”
I was.
But there would be no way in hell I would buy his food for him now.
I didn’t care if I did promise him dinner for his birthday.
I also didn’t care that he was a broke college kid and had no money.
What I did care about was the fact that he’d just shattered my heart.
I should’ve seen it coming, I guess.
Nothing good ever happened to me.
• • •
6 ½ years ago
“So you’re telling me, the reason that you stalked him is because he was stalking your sister first?” the psychologist said warily.
I shrugged. “When you put it like that, it sounds really bad. But my God. He needs to get a hint. He calls every other day to ask me for my sister’s number. I block him, he gets a new phone number, and tries again the next day. It was getting on my nerves, so I decided to do the same thing right back to him.”
“Oh,” she shook her head. “Surely you can tell the rest of the family, though, right?”
I thought about that for a few long seconds, then shrugged. “I could, yeah. But I kind of like being the outcast of the family. If I tell them that I’ve been protecting my sister, then they’ll question themselves on whether or not they can trust their instincts when it comes to me. It’s best that they continue thinking that I’m self-absorbed and a little bit crazy.”
That way when they screw me over or upset my feelings, it won’t hurt as bad.
I’d learned that the hard way, too.
Everyone for themselves, and all that jazz.
“So what would you like me to tell them when they ask about you?” she asked.
Was she actually going along with this?
“Tell them I have obsessive love disorder,” I suggested. “I don’t care. As long as they don’t realize the real reason I’ve been calling him and ‘stalking’ him so much.”
I didn’t know if that was even a thing or not, but I could’ve sworn I’d heard it somewhere.
“Generally I wouldn’t condone this,” she gave me a pointed look. “But after everything you just told me about your childhood, if anyone deserved a break, it would be you.”
When she put it like that, I sounded like a victim.
I wasn’t a freakin’ victim.
• • •
1 year ago
“You’re sure Dad is dead?” I asked, sounding breathless.
I wasn’t sad, though.
I was somewhat ecstatic.
It wasn’t every day your abuser died.
“We found him in his motor home this morning. Sometime last night after we shut everything down for the night, he dropped dead of what the coroner thinks is a heart attack,” Zip murmured.
I had five sisters and one brother.
Zip, Simi, Tony, Val, Crimson and Keene.
All of them loved our dad, and were likely fairly broken up about this.
I shouldn’t be smiling right now, actually.
This would upset everything.
Would I have to come back?
“What now?” I asked. “Do we have to give it a few weeks to sell the circus?”
God, that would be so nice.
The idea of being away from Singh Circus permanently sounded like the best thing in the world.
“Ah, no.” Zip paused. “We have to meet in South Carolina to hear his will read. From there…I don’t know.”
One could only hope. “I’ll meet you in South Carolina then.”
And I did a day later.
The lawyer’s words made me so freakin’ angry I could scream.
“So let me get this straight,” I said carefully. “We have to work there for five years, or we won’t get any money.”
“True.”
“And we all have to be there, or we don’t get the money,” I continued.