Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 38562 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 193(@200wpm)___ 154(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38562 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 193(@200wpm)___ 154(@250wpm)___ 129(@300wpm)
I feel so embarrassed by what he saw. It’s a dark part of my life I’ve been trying to hide from him. I didn’t want him to see the dirt and sadness that coats me. His family is so perfect—everything I could ever dream of having.
When I finally get the courage to lean back, his eyes go straight to my cheek. He raises his hand and I flinch. Sadness shows on his face at my reaction. He doesn't stop, though, as he brings his hand to my injured cheek. He runs his thumb across it, and I watch as his jaw clenches. He tries to hide his anger, but it’s no use. I see it there.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, feeling like such a jerk. I hate that I flinched, because I know he’d never do anything to hurt me. All he’s ever done is take care of me, make sure I’m safe.
“It’s okay. I get it. You’re scared, and years of living with someone like that can make you that way. Give it some time, and I promise you’ll never flinch again. No one who wants to keep breathing will give you a reason to.”
I lean into his touch, wanting more of it. I’ve been so starved of affection over the years, I want to soak up all the attention he gives me.
“I don’t want to go back there,” I finally say, the tears falling from my eyes. He leans in and kisses them away.
“You will never go back there.” Ren tells me fiercely. “You’re with me from now until forever.”
I cry harder at that, wishing it could be true. It sounds so wonderful, to spend the rest of my life like last night, wrapped up in him, feeling like nothing could ever hurt me because Ren wouldn't allow it to happen.
“But—” I say, but he cuts me off.
“You’re coming home with me. We’ll finish out the school year, then we’ll get a place near school. We’ll figure it all out.”
I drop my head a little, thinking about what he’s saying. I want to grab onto it so tightly, but I don’t want to push Ren into something he’s not ready for. I don’t want him to do this because he thinks it’s the right thing to do and that it’s the only way to protect me.
“You’re it for me, Lily,” he says, as if he can read my mind. “Even before I took you home today I didn’t want to do it. I had to fight myself to take you there. It’s going to be you and me forever. We’re just moving a little faster than some. But I don’t care. You and I are the same outcome either way—sharing ourselves with each other like last night and all the other shit that comes with that. It’s happening no matter how you spin it.”
“You really do love me, don’t you?” I look back up at him, wanting to see it in his eyes.
“More than anything in this fucking world. You’re all that matters.”
I love it, but it also scares me. My father loved my mom like that, too. It’s a fear of mine, and I voice it out loud. “My dad loved my mom more than anything in this whole world too, Ren.”
“No, babe. I’m not sure I believe that.”
“You saw him. He wasn’t always like that. He wasn’t the best dad, but he wasn’t like that before she died.”
“Lily, if you left this earth and left me behind, I’d be miserable. I probably wouldn't want to live. But you know what? If you left me with our baby girl, I’d spend my whole life raising her the best I could. Making sure I did right by her and by you. Making sure that everything I did would make you happy and proud of me. You’d leave this earth knowing that I would give our children everything. You would have no doubt about that. Not doing that, not taking care of the babies we made together, would mean that I didn’t love you, that you didn’t mean the world to me. Because if something means that much to you, then it means that much to me. If I were him, I’d grab hold of anything that reminded me of the woman I loved.”
That makes me cry even harder. Ren pulls me close, holding me while I sob into him, taking it all for me.
“You going to come home with me? Make it your home, too?” he finally asks into my hair.
“I am home,” I tell him. It’s the truth. Anywhere this man is, is my home.
He slowly moves me back over to my side of the car, pulling my seat belt over me, then wiping my face of any remaining tears. He gives me a soft kiss.
“You think your parents will be okay with this?” I ask, unsure how this will go down. I don’t want to upset them. Over the short time I’ve gotten to know them, they’ve come to mean a lot to me. They’ve done so much for me that I don’t want to overstep or intrude on their lives.