Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 65429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
I couldn’t breathe.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Simply reacting to his composed demeanor, I snapped, “I’m far from okay, Ethan!”
He raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. “We’ll figure it out.”
“How are you not freaking out?”
Ignoring my question, he asked, “Did you take a test?”
I winced, shaking my head again. “I was too scared of what it would say.”
He hesitantly nodded. “That’s the first thing we need to do.”
“But what if—”
“Livvy, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. First, we need to make sure you’re not just late because you’ve been stressing out about moving. It could be from that.”
“But what if it isn’t?”
He shrugged. “Then it isn’t.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“For now, yes.”
Unable to control my reckless emotions, I bit, “How could we let this happen? How, Ethan?! I’m on the pill! I take it at the same time every day like fucking clockwork. This can’t be happening. It just can’t! This has to be a bad dream! We can’t be parents!”
I was at my wit’s end. The thread I was hanging onto ripped in half and I couldn’t for the life of me find any comfort in what he was saying. If anything, it just further pissed me off.
Spitting fire, I roared, “This isn’t happening to you!” I sternly pointed at myself. “This is happening to me! It’s my body! I’m the one who’s going to have to go through everything.”
He abruptly stood, buckling his shorts.
“It’s so easy for the guy! This changes my entire life, Ethan! Every last second of it!”
I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn’t help it. This didn’t feel like his problem. It only felt like mine, and I couldn’t see past that.
“You need to calm down. We don’t even know if you’re pregnant yet. This could be—”
“We should have never had sex to begin with! How did we let it get this far? We were reckless to think we could handle something like this.”
I could see it in his eyes, he knew I was right. We didn’t stop to think about the consequences of entering a sexual friendship. I don’t think we thought about anything other than screwing each other’s brains out.
Except this was Ethan Carter.
He wasn’t just a random boy.
A random fuck.
This was my best friend.
He was my best friend.
I yanked my hair back, wanting to rip it out of my head. “Ugh! Fuck!”
He reached for me in an understanding gesture of what I was saying. “Livvy.”
I stepped back. “Please don’t touch me right now. All I keep thinking is that I’m eighteen years old and I’m still a kid. How on earth can I take care of one if I’m still one myself? We both are.”
“Exactly, you’re not alone in this. I know it may feel like that right now, but if you are pregnant, we’ll figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere. We need to take a test.”
“But what if I am?”
“But what if you aren’t?”
“But what if I am?” I insisted. “I’m never late. Ever.” My head felt like it was going to explode. “Everything is happening so fast, Ethan. We aren’t together. I’m not your girlfriend, and you’re not my boyfriend. We’re not in a relationship, and now we may have messed up both our lives.”
“You’re just scared, Livvy, and you’re freaking out.”
“How are you not? This would mess up your entire future.”
“I’d make it work.”
“Let me remind you, you’re on a full-ride scholarship, Ethan. If you don’t keep your GPA up, then guess what? You lose it. You don’t have time for a baby, let alone a job to—”
“Why don’t you let me worry about that, alright?”
“I can’t believe you.”
He shrugged. “A baby’s always a blessing. Regardless of how much of an inconvenience it could be.”
“Great, so I guess that makes me the selfish bitch because I’m thinking about our futures.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.”
I sighed deeply, trying to gather my emotions for a second. “I’m sorry I can’t see past how much this would mess up our futures.”
I stepped toward her, and to my surprise, she didn’t back away from me this time. Since she didn’t, I reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of my fingers.
“The only thing we can do right now is take a test and go from there, but if you are, that’s my baby too, and don’t you ever fucking forget that. We’re in this together. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, throwing my arms around his neck, and he instantly hugged me back.
“No matter what, I love you, Livvy,” he murmured in my ear. “And don’t you ever fucking forget that either.”
I wouldn’t.
I couldn’t.
Meaning it from the bottom of my heart, I expressed, “I love you too.”
I frantically hung onto him for dear life.
Ethan
I thought five words would change the rest of our lives, but I was wrong.