Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Because being alone is not better, even if it is safer.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Nick
My first night without Faith…
Hell.
My second night without Faith…
Hell.
Every night without Faith…
Hell.
If she’s going to Sonoma, so am I.
The minute I hear Faith has rented a car, I know she’s driving to Sonoma. And I don’t want her there with Bill. I don’t want her there—or anywhere—without me. And I’m done waiting on the autopsy report and answers. All fucking week I’ve waited without Faith. And so, I hit the road in the BMW, heading for Sonoma with a ring in my pocket and my heart shamelessly on my sleeve.
Because being alone is fine, as long as being alone is with Faith. Otherwise, alone is hell.
Chapter Forty
Faith
My new landlord calls about the time I am on the road to Sonoma, confirming I can move in next weekend. I tell her how excited I am, and I try to sound convincing, but reality is setting in. I’m leaving Nick behind. I use my Siri feature to call Kasey.
“Hey, Faith,” he answers. “Good to hear from you, stranger. I guess you meant it when you said you were going to let me run the show.”
“I did. I do. I am coming into town just to get some of my things this weekend. You want to have dinner?”
“Of course. When?”
“Saturday night?”
“Perfect. I’ll come to you after we close up.”
I have Siri dial Bill next. “Faith. Are you on your way here?”
“I am. I think I’m ready to talk. How about coffee tomorrow morning?”
“That works. When and where?”
“Do you just want to come by the house? I’m afraid I might get emotional about my parents, and I really don’t want to be around people if that happens.”
“Eight?”
“Eight.”
“And I understand you getting emotional, but we’ll get through this.”
“Thanks,” I breathe out, and when I hang up, I’m pretty sure I’ve misjudged him for a really long time.
I reach for the radio, but it starts to rain, and I listen to the thrum of droplets on the windows. I love the rain, but tonight it feels like I’m in an empty hole. Alone.
And it doesn’t ease up. In fact, the rain is heavier and the night pitch dark when I pull up to my house, and I am hollow inside except for a stabbing pain. I don’t belong here anymore. I don’t know why I wanted to come here. I almost turn around and leave, but I set up meetings. And I have random things in there. And I really need things that feel familiar.
I walk up the steps, key in my security code—miraculously getting it right the first time—and enter the house.
Nick
The rain is making me crazy. It taunts me. It repeats Faith’s words: Liar. You hurt me. You made sure I will never trust again.
I dial Beck, desperate for anything I can share with Faith. “I’m going to see her. Your time is up.”
“I’m onto something,” he says. “One of my CIA contacts has a ping on that mercury, and flag boy got a hit. There’s a connection there.”
“Where is he now?”
“Hanging out in a cabin on the outskirts of Sonoma. He tells locals he is having a zen retreat.”
“The autopsy report.”
“Nothing yet, but I’m working on it. I’ll be in touch.” He hangs up.
Fifteen minutes later, in an absolute downpour, with adrenaline surging through me, I pull into the driveway of Faith’s house. Our house. I’m going to fix us. I park behind her car and shrug out of my jacket and tie. The rain doesn’t ease up, and I toss them in the back seat and just say screw it. I exit the car and take off running, stomping a path up the stairs, and I am literally so drenched I might as well have stood in the shower. But I’m here. She’s here.
I ring the doorbell, and nothing happens. I ring it over and over, then start pounding on the door. “Faith! I know you’re here. Talk to me. Faith!” Still nothing. I stomp back down the stairs and into the rain, the real storm raging inside me. I face the house and look for a light in her studio that I don’t find. “Faith! I’m not leaving until you talk to me. Open a window. Anything. Faith!”
The front door opens, and I run up the stairs to find her standing in the doorway, behind the screen. I reach for it, but it’s locked. “Open the door, sweetheart.”
“I need you to leave.”
“I’m not going to leave. I need to touch you again, Faith. I need to kiss you.”
“You will never touch me again. Leave or I’ll call the police.”
“Nothing your uncle told you about me is the truth.”
“Nathan Marks isn’t your father?”
“He is, but it’s complicated. I’ll explain everything. Let me come in.”
“No. You’re still you. You still affect me, and that just makes me angry. I am not as stupid as you made me. And I’m not ever going to be stupid again. Leave, Nick.” She shuts the door.