Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79139 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79139 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Meanwhile Noah was about to become a younger version of Seamus, which meant he would soon be faced with the same decisions. Would have to make the same sacrifices for the good of his new family.
Maybe he wouldn’t find anyone willing to take him and his baby into their hearts. Maybe he’d have to give up the only person who’d ever made him feel like he was truly wanted and alive. Someone he could never decide if he wanted to punch or kiss. Someone who saw him and only him…
Someone like Bellamy.
What he’d said to Owen was true. Seamus wanted a grounded relationship with trust and mutual respect more than he wanted to be consumed by a fire that there was no way to put out. Even if Bellamy had been interested in more than a week or three in Paris, the devastation he would cause when he finally got bored was something Seamus shouldn’t risk.
In the end, it always had to come back to the kids. Seamus was it for them and they were why he hadn’t let himself lose his head completely with Bellamy.
But he’d come dangerously close.
He heard the knock on the front door of Finn’s and sent up a small prayer for strength as he opened it and stepped aside to let Bellamy in.
Five months.
He didn’t look that different at first glance. He was wearing another expensive gray t-shirt and jeans that probably cost more than most people’s car payment. He still had the sexy facial hair and those lush, sensual lips. But his usual swagger was gone. He almost looked nervous.
Seamus had a hard time believing anything could make Bellamy nervous. You had to care to be nervous. You had to have something to lose.
Bellamy was watching him through his thick lashes. “Did you want to talk first or should I guess what’s on your mind?”
Seamus bunched his cleaning rag in his hand and shook his head, walking away until he was behind the bar. Having something between them was a good idea. A necessity so he wouldn’t give in to temptation. “I don’t know, Demir. Why would I want to talk to you? What could you be doing with your spare time and all your money that might upset me?”
Bellamy winced. “I’m Demir again, am I? I guess I deserve that. I can see I’ve overstepped my bounds and I apologize.”
He wondered if he’d misunderstood him. That had been too easy. “Excuse me?”
Bellamy lifted his chin, arms crossing defensively across his broad chest. “I. Am. Sorry. I confess it. I’m a monster. A—what did you call me before you left? A spoiled, bored child who plays with people instead of toys?” Seamus winced, but Bellamy wasn’t finished. “But you’re right. I shouldn’t have made your daughter’s dream of riding a cheap rental pony a reality. I shouldn’t have seen the burden you were carrying on your own and tried to do something to help. To pay the bills for that high-priced care facility you chose to put the twins’ mother in to assuage your misplaced guilt. I should have known you wouldn’t approve. God forbid anyone tries to help you. Especially someone like me.”
The way he said it made Seamus sound like an ungrateful dick. “Help? Is that what you were trying to do? You didn’t think that as a father I might be concerned about my kids getting extravagant gifts from total strangers? Or that I’ve been careful that no one else find out about Presley, and because of what you did, I had to tell my cousin Solomon, or—” Seamus tugged at his hair, his skin buzzing in a way it hadn’t in months, his emotions intensifying with every minute that passed. “No one does that, Bellamy. No one flies in and starts stalking someone they claim they care about, or digs up all their secrets so they can act like the goddamn tooth fairy, leaving money under their pillow instead of stopping by for an actual visit.”
Bellamy’s laugh was more bitter than angry. “Would you have let me in, Seamus? Introduced me to your family as the guy you fucked in Ireland?”
I don’t know, damn it. He slammed his hand down on the bar’s mahogany finish. “You call if you come to town. You face me like a man if you want to talk. And you do not buy the affection of my children or me. You fucking earn it.”
Something flared to life in Bellamy’s ridiculously green eyes. “Do I get the chance to try?”
Had he moved closer? “I would have to be an idiot to say yes. I’ve been standing here thinking about all the reasons I should tell you to fuck off. Reminding myself that nothing’s changed since Ireland.”
“It has,” Bellamy swore.
“My list is long, Bellamy. Almost as long as the one with all the reasons you shouldn’t want to be here.” Why are you here?