Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 126060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 630(@200wpm)___ 504(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 630(@200wpm)___ 504(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
He turned away from her abruptly so she couldn’t see his face. “It won’t matter how much you love me if you’re dead.”
Again, there was a long silence. He detested hurting her. He forced himself to go the staircase railing and stand in front of the bed. “It isn’t that I don’t believe in your skills. I know you’re good, maybe one of the best riders in the world, but you’re mine. My heart and soul, Amaranthe. My everything. I didn’t have a reason for living. I know I’m supposed to live to serve the people in my territory and the other riders. I know my duty should keep me going, but I’d run out of reasons to stay alive. I understand Dario because I felt the way he does. Until you.”
Her dark gaze moved over his face. She never just touched him on the surface. She seemed to find her way inside of him and connected deeply. He rubbed his chest over his aching heart. He hadn’t known he was capable of loving someone the way he loved her.
“My entire life centers around protecting people, Amaranthe, and I’m damn good at it. The one person who matters the most to me is the one who doesn’t want my protection. You make me feel . . . helpless. Useless. As if my world is spinning out of control.”
He dug his fingers hard into the back of his neck, into the knots that were so tight they felt like concrete. “I want to lock you up somewhere safe until this is over.”
She nodded slowly and the mass of silky hair shifted and moved enticingly. “I understand completely, Geno.” Her long lashes lifted calling his attention to the length and thickness of the dark frame surrounding her eyes. Her gaze met his steadily. “I’ve never had a family or anyone to accept or love me, at least not that I remember. Only you. You’re my world. I was raised to give my life protecting others. While I’m onstage dancing, you’re going to be a target and I won’t be able to do anything about it. I’ll have to rely on others—people I don’t know—to keep you safe. To keep your brothers safe.”
For the first time he heard her voice tremble. She pressed her fingers to her lips as if she was trying to contain all emotion.
“I know what I can do, Geno. I know I’m capable of keeping you alive, but you insist on putting yourself in harm’s way. I don’t love you any less than you love me. As afraid for me as you are, I’m terrified I’m going to lose you, too. I’m small, and to make up for that, I’ve had to learn to use speed and other ways to best my opponent. You go straight for them, Geno. You’re very strong. You just go for it because you’re used to always being the best. I’ve already watched you go down twice. Twice. Right in front of me.”
Her voice broke and she looked down at her hands. “You aren’t the only one in this relationship that’s worried, Geno. Every instinct I have demands I keep you safe. I’m petrified with fear because I know when these people come after me, you’ll stand in front of me. I won’t be able to stop you.”
Geno studied her face for a long time in silence. The tight knots in his neck and gut slowly began to unravel. His little dancer. She didn’t know it, but she had a way of making sense out of everything. He hadn’t considered that he was being selfish, but in fact, that was exactly what he was being. He had promised himself he wouldn’t be that man. He would look after her, put her first, but in the end, he wasn’t thinking of how she was feeling, although they were in the same situation.
“I didn’t think about what it must be like for you, Amaranthe. I was only thinking about myself. I apologize.” He was sincere when he told her he was sorry. “I want to be a good husband to you. I know you’re an elite rider. I try to believe that you love me. You show me you do, but to be honest, I’ve never gotten to a place where I believe anyone can love the real me. I’m always afraid I’m holding you too tight, or not tight enough. I’m so afraid of losing you it’s entirely possible I’m pushing you away before you can walk away first.”
He ran his hand through his hair again. “That does make me somewhat of a coward.”
Amaranthe caught up the short, nearly transparent robe and slipped from the bed. “It makes you human. It means you have repercussions from your very strange childhood, just as I have them and your brothers have them.”