Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 55964 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 280(@200wpm)___ 224(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55964 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 280(@200wpm)___ 224(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Ossev frowns. “You’re upset. But you have not seen him for years. Why does this upset you?”
“Because you are bringing up part of my past that makes me sad. That was a hurtful, awful time and I don’t want to think about it, because it brings up the memories of pain. Do you understand?”
“I’m not sure.” He moves to my side, stopping me when I pick up the basket. Bright blue eyes meet mine. “I…did not wish to cause you pain. I do not like when you suffer.”
He seems genuinely distressed that he’s upset me, and I reach out to touch his cheek. He leans into my caress as if addicted, his eyes closing. “I thank you for your apology. I know you didn’t mean to harm me. But not every experience is a good one, and if I dwelled on those times, I would never smile. Do you understand?”
“I do, and I would rather see you smile.” He brushes his lips against my palm. “Just let me ask one final thing. If you could pick his fate, this Alothan, what would you have had done to him?”
My mouth curls in a wry smile as I consider this. “Something painful. A quick, easy murder would be too good for him. I’d want him covered in honey and eaten alive by rats, I think.”
Ossev’s eyes widen and a startled laugh barks from him. “You are supposed to teach us to be human, Yulenna!”
“Cruelty is very human.” I lower my hand out of his grip and shake my head, setting my sewing basket on the corner of the bed. “If someone enslaves you and abuses you, I don’t see how they merit anything but hate.”
“Do you hate us?”
I turn to face him. “I don’t know. Am I a slave here?”
The sharp edge in my voice surprises him. I can see it in the look on his face. “You are not a slave. You are an anchor. You serve us.”
“But I’m not free to go, either.” I gesture at the floor, indicating the kitchens below. “You’ve locked me inside. That makes me feel like a trapped slave.”
He blinks, gazing at me. He stares at me for so long that I worry I’ve said too much. “You want to go outside? Why?”
“Just because I can. Just to breathe fresh air. Just to know that I can leave if I wanted to. Staying because you wish to stay is a different feeling than staying because there’s no way out. Do you understand?”
“Not entirely,” he admits. “But if it means a great deal to you, then I will take you outside.”
He moves to take me in his arms, and my heart sinks, because I know what will happen. He will whisk me outside in a flurry of cobwebs and then whisk me back inside, and I’ll still be as trapped as ever. I put a hand on his chest, stopping him. “I want a door,” I say gently. “One that is available at all times, like the one to my room.”
“But you are safest enclosed in the tower with us.”
“Ossev?”
“Yes?”
“Are you a god?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can protect me.”
He blinks again, digesting this, then nods. “I will…take you outside. With a door.”
“Thank you.”
I can tell he doesn’t entirely understand, but he’s desperate to please me. Perhaps I’m pushing too hard, but after the memories of Alothan, all I can think about is how desperately I wanted to escape him for all those long years. How I watched the door to my room every night, wishing that it led anywhere but to the brothel. How trapped I’d felt.
I’ve felt trapped here, too, just in different ways.
We walk down to the kitchens together, and Ossev pauses on the threshold of the door that’s magically locked. He runs a hand over it and the locks fall off, the heavy wood swinging open. A cold breeze immediately swirls inside, ruffling my hair and catching my skirts. I breathe it in and I’m filled with a heavy sense of relief.
Outside.
“Thank you,” I say again.
“You’re cold.”
I shake my head. “It’s fine.” The cold feels good. It reminds me that we’re high in the mountains at the edge of the world, but we are still a part of the world. Sometimes I feel all too disconnected when nothing but spiderwebs and stone walls surround me. “Will you come outside with me?”
Ossev nods, and I lead the way.
I step over the threshold and outside, crossing my arms over my chest at the bitter breeze. I need to make myself a thick cloak if I plan on going outside often. And if it’s up to me, I will absolutely be going outside as frequently as possible. Pulling my fingers back into the warmth of my long sleeves, I tuck my hands under my arms and look around at the desolate landscape. I’ve been inside the tower so long I’d forgotten just how dreary and gray it is out here. The sky is overcast without a hint of sunlight peeping through, and the distant mountains enclose the nearby lake and the tower itself like a mouth with jagged teeth. I stare out at the lake. The surface is perfectly smooth, like glass, but I know that’s deceiving. Out there are gigantic serpents that live under the surface.