Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Her eyes watered and she had no idea where all of this was coming from, but there it was. Coming any ol’ way.
“Hurtin’ is part of life, Desiree,” Mama slipped her hand in her purse, took out a cigarette, and lit it. “We can’t stop our babies from growing up and experiencing disappointment. All we can do is teach ’em how to spot bullshit, understand what love is supposed to be and feel like, then trust them to know the difference.”
Desiree got out of the vehicle and switched places with her mother. She started the car up, fighting tears. Her emotions flooded her, drowning the little bit of peace and serenity that she had.
“Baby, I like how our relationship has been going over the years.” Mama cracked the window open and tapped her cigarette.
“I do too, Mama.”
“You, Dasia, Desmond and Jason; been really good to me. I done had all these kids, and half of y’all don’t talk to me… and I know why. I just wish thangs could be different sometimes.” She shrugged. “But I’m grateful all the same. You know, I bet you think sometimes that I don’t really know you, because in your formative years I wasn’t mentally present. But I do. High or not, I know my babies. All of you.” She took a hard draw from the cigarette. “I knew something was troubling your heart. I was a crackhead, not a fool. There’s a difference. Anytime something is bothering you, you can tell me. I might not have the answers, but I can at the very least be a shoulder to cry on.”
Desiree kept driving, trying to figure out if she was going to lay it out on the line, or keep it under wraps. She and her mother were friends now—something she never had growing up. Back then, Mama was angry. A tyrant. The drugs had almost destroyed her. She was running from her pain, just like everyone else, but like most vices, it wasn’t a victimless compulsion. There were casualties, many of whom, including her, had been caught up in the crosshairs.
“Mama, I do have a problem I’d like to run past you, actually.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“I’m in love. I’m in a new relationship, but he’s starting to ghost me, and I’m scared. I don’t know why he’s acting shady all of a sudden. I don’t know what I did wrong.” She sighed. “That’s the truth. It sounds lame, but there it is. Front and center.”
Mama kept staring straight ahead, then rolled the window down a bit more.
“Well, to me—and I’m just one person but I’ve seen a whole lot in my years—when a man stop comin’ ’round, it’s usually ’cause of one of three thangs. He got another woman. He’s going through some thangs and don’t want to talk about it, or he got bored with you but don’t want to be cruel, and tell you to go away. How long y’all been seein’ one another?”
“A few months. He goes to my cooking classes at the college. He’s a student there, like me.”
“Has he been ignoring you in class?”
“No, not at all, but he’s not… I don’t even know the right word. He’s not acting like he’s interested anymore. He’s just treating me kind of like a platonic friend while we’re there, and he wasn’t doing that before. We weren’t broadcasting the relationship, but we weren’t bending our backs out of whack to hide it, either. This just started happening. And it was sudden.”
“What? Him acting strange?”
“Yeah.”
Mama reached for the radio, from which the music played so low it could barely be heard, and turned it up a tad. Some Patti LaBelle song was playing.
“Have you asked him what his problem is?”
“Mmm hmmm. He gets mad, or blows it off. It’s like he doesn’t want to answer directly because he doesn’t want to lie to me.”
“Sounds like he might have another woman.”
Desiree’s heart dropped and her eyes watered.
“Naw, come on, girl. Now don’t you go gettin’ all upset.” Mama snatched a tissue out of her purse and handed it to her. Desiree dabbed at her eyes and sniffed. “You don’t know the reason, so don’t get yourself all worked up just yet. These are just theories.”
“Mama, it’s just that we’re so close. Or at least we were. We can finish each other’s sentences. We talked about everything! He was like… like a best friend. No matter what I said about my past, or whatever, he took it well. He told me a lot of personal things, too, and for him to just change like this with no explanation hurts me. I think he’s got someone else, too.”
“Hold up. I didn’t say for sure. It’s just a hunch.”
“Mama…”
“I’m serious. I don’t want you blamin’ me for giving bad advice!” Mama chuckled, making her smile through the distress. “I say give him one more chance. Some men just keep to themselves when they going through somethin’, baby. Invite him to something small, and short, like to get a coffee… or something that won’t take much time. Then you can decide what to do.”