Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 36478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
“No way, this is much better,” he argued, rolling over to rest his hand on my chest. “Ooh, I love how hairy you are.” Unlike him, I had a thick blanket of curls from my collarbone to my thighs. “I can barely grow hair anywhere except my jaws.”
“Just give it time,” I shrugged. “I’m sure once you’re an old bastard like me, you’ll be covered in it too.”
He laughed and playfully swatted my chest. “You’ve got to stop saying that. You’re not old!”
My insecurities slipped out when I asked, “You’re sure our age difference doesn’t bother you at all?”
“It really doesn’t.” I smiled as he nestled his head onto my chest. “I wouldn’t change anything about you.” Sterling was quiet for a few moments before asking quietly, “Would you change anything about me?”
I knew what he was curious about without hearing the actual words. I brushed my fingers through his hair and answered, “I wish I could change the past by taking away anything that hurt you. I would change the way you were treated, and the pain you went through. But I wouldn’t change anything about the man you are today; you’re funny and kind and sweet. You’re everything I’ve been searching for.”
“Thank you,” he whispered against my skin. “You’re everything I’ve been searching for too.” After a few more quiet seconds, he added, “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“You said that you moved here six years ago. During that time did you do a lot of…searching?”
Again, he was asking so much without saying the words. He was curious about my dating history, and if I had to guess, my commitment. He didn’t have to worry about that; I worried that my level of commitment and attachment may be more than he was ready for.
“No," I answered honestly, and felt his sigh of relief against my chest. "I'm not into casual dating or hooking up. Like I told you, my last partner and I were together for a decade, and I thought that we'd be together for life."
"Do you wish you were still with him?"
"Absolutely not." Another sigh of relief. "When we first split up, I was heartbroken. But over time, I realized that I deserved better than someone who would so easily toss me to the side and betray me."
"Are you afraid you'll get betrayed again?" He was asking all the tough questions.
"I guess it's always in the back of my mind. Maybe that's why I took so long to heal and to be ready to put myself out there again. But I told myself when the time was right, I'd know, and when the man was right, he'd be worth the risk."
"I won't betray you," he promised, warming my chest. "I could never cheat, and I'm not into casual hook ups either. I've always wanted to find a life partner."
"That's all I want too." I pressed a kiss to the top of his head and he tipped his chin up to receive one on his lips. "I love seeing your pretty eyes without your sunglasses," I told him, looking into the silver-blue orbs.
"I'm so used to wearing them throughout the day. I forgot them at home one day a few years ago when Cooper and I visited the park. A woman cursed me out for 'staring creepily' at her daughter. She felt bad and apologized when I explained that I wasn't staring at anything, but I never forgot to wear them again."
It was upsetting that Sterling felt the need to hide a part of himself to make other people comfortable, or to avoid accusations. I wasn't sure what to say, so I hugged him tighter, hoping I brought him some comfort.
He nuzzled back down onto my chest and silence fell over us. It wasn't awkward; it was relaxing, and soon, Sterling yawned widely. I usually fell asleep to the noise of a television, but I wasn't interested in turning it on. I was enjoying this quiet moment. I didn't even mind that the light was still on. I didn't want to move.
I kissed the top of Sterling's head and whispered, "Goodnight," but he was already asleep.
Chapter Five
I woke to find that neither Sterling nor I had moved a muscle all night; he was still cradled in my arms. I couldn't remember ever sleeping better than I did with him close to me. I must have slept well; I usually rose before dawn, but I could see the sun shining through the windows.
My old bladder really needed to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to disturb my sleeping beauty, so I remained still and stroked my fingers through his soft hair. Several long minutes passed and though I didn't want to, I was just about to try and sneak out of bed before Sterling stirred.