Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 67465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
“Why not?” I whisper.
He just shakes his head again as his thumb caresses my cheek.
“Right. Okay. I’m not going to last either. Not more than a few seconds, probably.”
“Mpphhfffhhhfhfhfhfhf.” I think that’s an agreement, especially because his nostrils flare wide, his shoulders rise and fall jerkily, and his head grinds down into the pillows.
I’m on the pill, but I think it’s a good thing to use a condom, though I’m too embarrassed to ask him if he wants one. I haven’t been with anyone in months, and I’m sure he hasn’t either, but I also don’t want to have a lengthy discussion about the pill, so I bend over and reach for the nightstand beside the bed, pulling out a box of condoms. They’re old. Really old. I check the date. Oh, thank god they’re still good. I tear one off the strip, rip the packet open, and peel it down Van’s length. Or at least I try. It’s a bit of a mess, and I suck at it, so he finally helps me by taking over and getting the damn thing on. He’s a little bit big for it, which I think is the problem. It looks painful. I’m painful. My body is an inferno, my thighs are soaked, and I am so damn empty that I feel like I could actually scream. Maybe I need to rip those boxers off him after all and cram them into my mouth.
I’m still straddling him, and I take him in my hand and guide him to me as I lower myself down. My legs are tense. All of me is tense. He’s like a rock beneath me, rigid and still, and I have to close my eyes because I can’t look at him when I do this. His eyes shutter close right before mine, and at the look of utter bliss on his face, I relax.
His legs are thick with muscle, and he’s a big man, while I’m not a very big person, so even parting my legs like this makes them burn. But it’s delicious. I love how I can barely fit over him enough to do this. I run him through my wetness, my eyes closed, feeling how soaked I am. He groans louder from behind all that fabric as his hips jerk up into my hand. He’s right there, and this time I guide him to where I need him. He can’t stop himself from moving, thrusting just a little. He’s big, and he stretches me as he slips just the first inch inside. Then, he freezes, and I take the side of my hand between my teeth, biting down so that I don’t scream. I need more. I need all of him.
Everything disappears. Nothing matters except this. I’m totally lost in this, and I think Van is too. There’s just us, just here and now. Surrendering to each other and giving each other what we want. And it is bliss. I take more and more of him, sinking down harder while Van’s breaths come harder and more uneven. Mine do too.
I set my palms on his shoulders and lean forward, taking more and more of him until he’s seated inside me. He’s so big that I could die. I could break apart just like this. I’m scared to move because I’m already on the verge of coming, and if I do, it’s going to be loud. I need something, something to contain the sound and bliss that is going to crack my world in half.
I put my face next to Van’s ear and whimper his name, rolling my hips as I do. He trembles beneath me, quaking and burning. He lets me set the pace, which I do, filing myself and taking him exactly where I need him. I lick the side of his neck, kiss him, and pour my moans into his skin as my hips work over him. He fills me over and over because he can’t stay still either, and I dig my nails into his shirt. I wish I’d stripped the damn thing off—torn the buttons open with my teeth like an animal.
Next time. Please, please, please, let there be a next time.
Our hips meet and slam together. His hands come to my waist, and he steadies me as I rock against him. As I grind down on him. I can’t breathe. The heat is there, so hot, so overwhelming, building and filling me up as well. He’s stroking inside me, thrusting in long hot passes that make me see lights and stars. I can feel all his muscles working beneath me. His chest tightening, his abs bunching, his legs tensing. I change the rhythm in response, grinding harder, rolling my hips slower, and letting him feel all of me while I savor all of him.