Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88447 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88447 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
No, I needed to try to see myself clearly tonight.
I could do this.
I was more than my birthmark, and I had nothing to be ashamed of.
Using a trick my therapist taught me, I tried to look at my reflection with a kind heart.
To see the good instead of the bad.
The empire-waisted, peach velvet gown I wore had long, tight sleeves and a modest sweetheart neckline. A thick band of crystals surrounded my ribcage before the skirt flowed out to the floor. A long slit had been cut up the side, rising up to my upper thigh, so I’d have to watch myself tonight. Otherwise, I’d be flashing people my panties as I stood up and sat down. While the amount of revealed thigh was racy, the rest of the dress was relatively modest. Most importantly, it covered the port-wine stain on my back. I had to admit, the color looked good with my light tan, and it brought out the darker tones of my brown hair. Paired with a glossy pink lip color and shimmering gold shadow, I looked pretty. I just hoped I didn’t have an anxiety attack and sweat all the makeup off, which would ruin Hannah’s no doubt expensive as hell Dior dress.
The big bump of Joy’s baby belly grazed the back of my head as she fussed over me. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit down and rest for a minute or two?”
“Yessssss,” Joy groaned as she expertly arranged my long, dark curls over one shoulder in a twist secured by a floral, crystal-studded clip. “If Ramon had his way, I’d spend the rest of my pregnancy sitting on my ass like a chicken hatching an egg.”
“Now, that’s a visual I didn’t need.” Hannah’s familiar laugh came from the doorway. “Oh my God, Layla, Vali’s working vest matches your dress! It’s perfect”
I looked into the mirror, smiling at the sight of my friend wearing a long, strapless sparkling gold gown. She bore more than a passing resemblance to Audrey Hepburn and looked like a million bucks. Her dark hair was upswept, and she wore a seriously impressive diamond choker that glittered with her every move. Hannah radiated confidence and happiness as she glided across the room toward us, looking like a supermodel. When she reached our side, she smiled at me in the mirror and gave my arm a squeeze. Hannah was a touchy-feely person with her friends, and I relished every time she showed me her affection.
A warm glow hit my chest at the thought.
I have friends.
Like, ones I know in real life.
Me, the girl who’d never been able to connect with people because of my issues, finally had friends. Sure, it had only taken me a couple decades and a million hours of therapy, along with drugs, to help me reach this point. But I did it. I overcame my fears enough to make real-world friends.
I’d even…invited them over to my house.
Yes, I know, for most people this wouldn’t be a big deal. Regular people have friends over all the time, and probably they manage to do it without having a nervous breakdown. Most don’t spend six hours worrying whether or not they used the wrong kind of candle to make people feel welcome, or if the living room could really use a new coat of paint. But I’d managed to overcome my fears and invited them over for dinner two weeks ago, minus their husbands. Though both Ramon and Leo were super nice to me, they were also massive and intimidating as hell.
And, I’d done it without wearing any makeup.
That’s right, I’d found the courage to show them the real me.
To be honest, I thought once I opened the door and they saw my face in person, they’d freak.
Instead, they acted like it was no big deal.
I’d been so ready for some major reaction that I was shocked when they treated me the same as usual. Everyone I’ve ever known made a huge deal out of my face. It threw me off that the girls were as giggly and fun as ever, never staring or asking uncomfortable questions. They honestly didn’t seem bothered by it.
At my feet, Vali let out a low groan of pleasure as Hannah began to rub his white belly beneath the edges of his peach vest. Delores, my virtual personal assistant extraordinaire, had a friend of hers make it with all the appropriate service dog patches and emblems. There was even a matching, crystal studded collar and leash.
“He’s such a pretty boy, and he’s going to be such a good ambassador tonight. Yes, he is,” Hannah cooed as she carefully stood, smoothing her shiny gold dress back into place.
I smiled down at my number one guy, my heart swelling with love for my dog. “He’s the best.”
Joy slipped a diamond hair comb into the smoothed back side of my hair, pinning it away from the ‘good’ side of my face. She left the other side down so I could hide behind it. I was hoping I wouldn’t need to use my hair to hide behind tonight, but it was like a security blanket to me. Yes, I still hid behind my hair like a scared little girl when I had an anxiety attack. While I was pretty sure I would be able to get through the night without one, Hannah and her awesome husband Leo had assured me they’d be with me at all times, I was a big believer in better safe than sorry.