Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Whenever something like this happened, solitude helped me to deal. Keeping the tears at bay was proving to be difficult. A burn settled at the back of my throat.
Staring at my reflection in the metal elevator doors, I had to wonder, was it me? Did I make people hate me? Was being nice a crime? A weakness? Why did people go out of their way to despise me? To hurt me? Or better yet, to avoid me?
I rubbed at my chest where a stabbing pain struck hard.
Stepping into the elevator, Slavik put his hand at the base of my back, but I didn’t feel it.
“Do you ever care what people think of you?” I asked.
“No.”
I smiled. It didn’t exactly reach my eyes. Simple. Direct. To the point. I liked it.
“Do you?”
“I know I shouldn’t, but it’s kind of hard not to when everyone around you seems determined to hate you.”
The bell dinged, and the doors opened.
We stepped out.
Slavik keyed in the code to our apartment.
When we arrived, I often kept my distance, steering well clear of him out of fear of capturing his attention. Today, I wanted to be alone.
I removed my shoes, placed them in the right place, and without another look back, I went to the bathroom.
Door closed and locked, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and allowed the spiteful words to wash over me.
They were not the first.
“The fat Italian. Honestly. People feel sorry for Slavik. I don’t know how he puts up with her. He could do so much better. I know my dad tried to get me thrown at him, but Volkov decided the Fredo girl was more important.”
“She looked like a cow. All Slavik has to do is say the word and I’d do anything for him. I heard on her wedding night, Slavik had to cut himself because he couldn’t find her pussy through the layers of fat.”
“You’re a disappointment.”
“The ugly one.”
“The fat one.”
“What can we do to avoid being near her? No one likes her, no one wants to be around her.”
I pressed my palms against my eyes as the tears fell, thick and fast. Each one that dropped added to my mortification. I was not liked. I was not loved. My own family didn’t care who they sold me to.
“Aurora, open the door.”
“I’m in the shower.”
“I don’t hear it running. Open the door or I knock it down. Two choices.”
I splashed my face with water, wiping off the makeup I’d chosen to wear.
“Aurora!”
I opened the door and stepped back. Turning the shower on, I reached for the clasp at the side of my dress and eased it down.
Slavik was in the bathroom, and any other time, I’d have been afraid. There was no fear right now. Just pain and anger. Humiliation.
I hated this feeling.
“What is going on with you?” he asked.
I ignored him.
Was I sporting a death wish?
No one ignored Slavik Ivanov. His reputation for destruction preceded him. Women talked about him with a combination of awe and fear.
With the dress on the floor, I flicked the catch of my bra, followed by my panties, then stepped beneath the spray of the water. I let out a cry as the cold water washed over my body, shocking me to the core.
In the back of my mind, I cursed myself, telling myself that I shouldn’t be doing this. Slavik had asked a question, and the least I could do was answer.
Silence.
Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
The mantra went on and on inside my head. I didn’t have much choice. When I was a kid, I had to learn to live with it. My father had hit me for showing weakness. Tears were pathetic and shouldn’t be seen on a Fredo’s face.
I released a gasp as strong arms grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to face him. Slavik was naked as well, which surprised me. I expected him to leave.
Why hadn’t he left?
“Tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Nothing! Nothing is going on. Don’t you get that? I’m taking a shower.”
“I know you’re lying to me.”
Be the lady. Don’t give in.
Old advice and demands rushed forward. The rules of the obedient woman consumed me, making me feel sick.
“You really want to know?” I asked. I didn’t give him chance to answer. “I am sick and tired of being treated like I don’t care. Like I don’t matter. I tried to make friends and like always, I got shit on. What is it about me, huh? Do I just have unlikeable written across my forehead? Do people just enjoy kicking me while I’m down? The only reason they were nice to me tonight was because of you.” I took in a deep breath, realizing my mistake and wishing I could take it back.