Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Neither me nor Damion talk about his father’s role in a car accident that feels far from an accident at all. Damion just seems to know that I can’t go there yet, just—not yet.
With his much-needed help, I arrange the funeral pretty much all on my own, as my mother declares she is not in a good place, and incapable of such matters. She’s drugged, she also claims, but to me she comes off more removed from the process than she does grieving.
It rains the day of the funeral, a light chilly mist for the most part, that seems to last forever, when my father will not. I speak at the service, but my mother does not. Again, she’s too drugged, she insists. More like too hypocritical. After crying through the eulogy I’ve delivered, and leaning on Damion to survive it, I’m angrier with her than ever and I just can’t make it go away.
By the time we’re at the cemetery, I’m out of tears, at least for a bit, and with Damion as the thread that holds me together, we stay until everyone is gone. He’s standing with me, arm around me when my skin prickles and my gaze lifts and catches on a figure by the trees. A man, and he’s not alone. He’s with my mother. When I realize who it is, fury erupts inside me. I twist away from Damion and run toward the pair.
Before Damion even knows what’s happened I’m in front of them, his father and my mother. “Are you kidding me?” I demand of my mother. “You can’t even wait until after he’s in the dirt?”
“This isn’t what it looks like,” she says, while Damion’s father smirks, as if confirming the exact opposite.
That’s all it takes to unleash me.
I lose it and shove my mother. She falls backward. onto the ground and begins to sob. I charge at her, ready to jump on her—I’m not in my right mind—when Damion grabs me from behind and holds onto me.
My mother is now wet and muddy and on her hands and knees. “What was that?” she screams at me. “Who are you?”
“Who are you?” I demand. “The last conversation I had with him he talked about you and this monster. The way you hurt him is unforgivable.”
My mother shoves to her feet and sobs, rushing away, a coward who will be naked with Damion’s father before the hour is up, I suspect.
“You were quite hard on her, don’t you think?” West Senior dares to say.
“You killed him,” I say, my voice as brittle as ancient wood. “I’m going to make you pay.” I twist and jerk from Damion’s grip and start walking, my pace fast but measured. and I know then me and Damion are done, and not because I don’t love him. Because of what I’m going to do to his father, what I will go down for, pay for, alone, just me, not him.
I reach the limo waiting on us and Damion’s there, in front of me. He doesn’t have to turn me to face him. I do it myself. “We’re done,” I declare. “I’m done, Damion. I’m going to my apartment. I’m not going with you.”
“Alana, don’t do this,” he pleads, torment in his eyes, in that rich timbre of his voice, I love so much, but when he reaches me, I hold up a hand.
“No. Just no. I need time. I need space. I need a lot of things I can’t have with you.”
He recoils as if slapped and I climb inside the car and yank the door shut. “Drive,” I say, and once we’re out of the cemetery I direct him to a hotel. Damion will look for me. I won’t be there.
I’m on a cold, hard hotel bed despite the luxury of the room, when I dial Lana. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’ll be back for the live event Saturday.”
“You do not have to do this.”
“Oh, I do, and I’ve been thinking of your need to delve into my personal life. Do that interview you wanted with me and I’ll give you your ratings.”
She’s silent a moment. “This feels grief driven.”
“It’s ratings driven. I’ll see you then.”
My cellphone rings with Damion’s number and I turn it off.
Chapter fifty-four
Alana
I don’t go home or take Damion’s calls before the live event. He’ll convince me not to move forward with my plan, but I do miss him. I miss him so very much, but our lives have been a collision course of heartache and now death.
I arrive at the auditorium where there will soon be a live audience. My hair and makeup are done by some celebrity stylist, and I barely notice what I look like. I’m nervous and numb, but I’m committed to my plan. When finally, I step on stage, I know Damion’s in the audience. As crazy as it seems, I can feel him close, but I cannot let this fact detour me from my goal.