Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 61440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 307(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
“I’ll take the back elevator and be at your front door before you get there,” she says, her eyes dancing as she backs toward the door. “Bet you five dollars.”
“I’ll see your five dollars,” I say, “and raise you five orgasms.”
Ellie laughs. “I’ll hold you to it, high roller.”
“Oh, I’m counting on it.”
CHAPTER 14
Day 8 Weds 8/8
JACK: Just checking in. You get home okay?
ELLIE: I’m sorry! I meant to text but got in the bath and lost track of time.
JACK: Are you still in the bath? Naked? Covered with slippery soap bubbles?
ELLIE: Wouldn’t you like to know? ;-)
JACK: Yes. Yes, I would. And are you relaxed, Miss Seyfried? Because *I* haven’t been able to relax since you left this bed.
ELLIE: Leave ’em wanting more, then reel ’em in—that’s my motto.
JACK: Consider me reeled. Also, I’ve come to an important decision about one of the great dilemmas of our time.
ELLIE: Do tell.
JACK: As much as it pains me to say this… You’re right. Office sex is too risky and has to remain off the menu for the time being.
:-[ (That’s my pained face. I am physically pained by the loss of office banging privileges.)
ELLIE: Hey, don’t blame me! Your nosy colleagues are why we can’t have nice things.
JACK: Your screaming orgasms are why we can’t have nice things.
ELLIE: Oh really? Well, maybe I’ll have to keep them to myself from now on.
JACK: Don’t even joke. That would be cruel and unusual punishment. I want your orgasms. All your orgasms.
ELLIE: Oh, well… That might be a problem.
Because I’m working on one right now…
All alone in my bathtub…
And there might be screaming…
I hope the neighbors don’t hear…
Oh…
My…
JACK: Stop! Wait! I’m coming over.
ELLIE: Sorry…
Too late. ;-)
JACK: You are evil. Beautiful, sexy, evil.
ELLIE: And you love every minute of it.
JACK: I will neither confirm nor deny my love of your evil.
But back to the office sex situation…
We need a new plan. I can’t be expected to go a full eight-hour day without being inside you. It’s inhumane.
ELLIE: Agreed. I can’t go that long without you, either.
JACK: Elevator? Hit the stop button, tear off our clothes, and go for it?
ELLIE: Cameras. And the alarm would be too distracting.
JACK: True, but great cover for your screaming orgasms.
ELLIE: Good point. :-)
Um…wow. I’m drawing a blank.
Outside? Battery Park on our lunch break?
JACK: We’d probably get arrested. Executive lounge?
ELLIE: No way. Office sex is off the menu, remember?
JACK: Fine. We’re just going to have to leave town for the day, find some place where we can get naked in peace.
ELLIE: Montana? Morocco? Mars?
JACK: I was thinking slightly more local. Just far enough away that we won’t run into our colleagues. Or any people, for that matter.
ELLIE: No people? Now you’re speaking my language.
JACK: Perfect. Pick you up at 7 a.m. tomorrow. Plan to be out all day.
ELLIE: Wait… Seriously? What about work?
JACK: This is a sanctioned work event. A corporate retreat. Team-building is an essential part of the onboarding process for new hires, Eric. Didn’t you watch the employee orientation video?
ELLIE: Team-building with just two of us?
JACK: I pride myself on giving my staff the highest level of personal attention. And by “my staff” I mean the one between my legs, soon to be between yours.
ELLIE: You really do know how to close the deal, Jack.
No wonder you’re the boss.
JACK: You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, baby. ;-) Seven a.m. tomorrow. Bring your fine ass, your mustache-free mouth, and a pair of hiking boots. I’ll take care of the rest.
ELLIE: Okay. But you’d better bring some snacks, too, or I won’t even make it out of the car.
JACK: As far as I’m concerned, you ARE the snack. But fine…
I’ll bring fancy cheese, just for you.
ELLIE: CHEESE! You said the magic word. It’s a date. See you soon, sexy.
JACK: Not soon enough.
CHAPTER 15
Jack
Day 9 Thursday 8/9
“So what other things around this gorgeous place might be hungry for our blood?” Ellie snags my arm, holding on tight as I sidle up next to her on the primitive hiking trail. “I’m all about the trees, but I’m not good with wild animals, Jack. Especially bears!”
“It wasn’t a bear. It was a fisher cat.”
“It looked like a bear. A small bear, but a bear. No doubt.”
“It’s more like a weasel, technically. Besides you can’t blame the little guy for wanting a bite.” I give her a playful smack on her ass—the one that only moments ago was bared to the entire state of New York from the top of a nameless, rarely traversed mountain on the outskirts of the Catskills.
We’d just completed our second “team-building” exercise of the morning—the first happening in the car at the deserted trailhead parking area—when a furball scuttled onto the rocks and screeched like a tiny demon, scaring the hell out of her.
“We could’ve been attacked,” she says, clearly unamused.
“No way. You showed him who’s boss with that primal scream of yours. I bet he’s already back in his hole, warning his friends about the fierce, five-foot terror of the Catskills.”