Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
But when we got the news, I broke. Completely. Ranger took me home. He put me to bed, held me close. I didn’t feel the change in him then because in that moment, I only felt pain.
Then I became distracted. I forced myself to be distracted with funeral arrangements and with helping Evie with the logistics of having multiple chapters arriving in Amber to show support.
Ranger was around. Of course he was. He was there to check on me. The kids. To make sure someone was with us at all times.
Old Ladies had always been off limits, even to the most ruthless of criminals.
Until Laurie.
I was clutched with fear, thinking about how ugly this war could get, how it would only get uglier now.
I thought what I felt was grief. And fear that something would happen to me or the kids. I was too deep in my own head to realize it was something else. Something much worse. Something that might completely end us.
Chapter 7
“You can’t go again,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
Ranger didn’t even look me in the eye. He hadn’t in weeks. Not since the funeral. My best friend’s funeral.
It still didn’t seem real. But she was buried. She was gone.
Things had been getting ugly since then.
Since she’d died because of the club, we were at war. Jack, Lily and I were never alone, and there would be a lockdown soon. The club was gearing up for vengeance. The whole town felt it. The air was quiet, like one big exhale. The calm before a storm.
Yet things were everything but calm in our house.
“It’s club business. I got no choice,” Ranger replied. He did have a choice, he just didn’t want to be at home with his wife. And his children who couldn’t understand what was going on but knew something was wrong.
“We need you here,” I pleaded, my voice small. It had taken me too long to understand the extent of the chasm between us. Too long to recognize how hard Ranger was working to distance himself from me. Now I didn’t know what to do. How to act. I was scared. He was like a stranger.
“Lucky will be outside,” he said. “You don’t have to let him in the house.”
“Of course, I’ll have him in the house,” I snapped. “He’s not a dog.”
Beyond that, I liked Lucky. Some of his light has been dimmed throughout this, but he worked hard at keeping everyone together. He always had a smile and a joke for Jack, a hug and kind word for me.
“Well, you won’t be alone.”
I glared at Ranger. “This isn’t about being alone. This about my husband taking every chance he can get to escape his wife. His family. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we exist.”
“Of course, I’ve fucking noticed!” he roared.
I flinched at his outburst.
“I’ve got shit to do,” he said, quieter now.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “First and foremost, you’re taking a long look in the mirror to see if you can recognize the man standing in front of you, because I sure as fuck don’t.”
Then I turned away from him, hoping he wouldn’t leave like this.
But the door closed and I was alone with my thoughts. With the truth of what my marriage had turned into.
I was still awake when he got home. As much as I wanted to be the kind of woman who could sleep soundly in an empty bed, the fight with her husband hot on her skin, I was not. I didn’t work that way. Words circulated around my head. I’d let myself fantasize about the ways he might come back, how we’d sort it out, and it would end in epic making up.
I still thought this, no matter the fact that I’d been with my husband for over a decade, and we’d been through many fights, none of them ever working out like that.
Despite the fact that we’d had many fights, this one felt different. Scarier. The cracks that had emerged after we lost the baby had found their way into the foundation of us, damaging the entire structure of our relationship. Add to that the pressures everyone felt around the club. Things were escalating.
It was ugly of me to stand at Laurie’s funeral feeling grateful that it wasn’t my husband being buried, but that’s what I’d done. Truly, there was no use feeling grateful about anything because this wasn’t over. There would be more funerals, something told me that. It was in the way Ranger acted. The fact that we had increased security, that I had to text Ranger anytime me, Lily and Jack were leaving the house, and he had to know where we were at all times.
Yeah, things were bad with the club and bad with us.
So I was awake because I was afraid something had happened to him. Afraid something happened with him and one of the many women who offered an easy fuck without expecting anything in return.