Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 73664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“I have no clue,” I say, “but I have to. I just have to.”
Miles glances at the doorway. “He might have something to say about that.”
I don’t even have to look. Already I know Chance has entered the bar.
“Nice going.” He stalks over, scowling. “You seem to have turned ladies’ night into a black hole.”
I turn, instead of glancing over my shoulder, and face him. “Fuck you.” I brush past him.
“She’s gone,” he calls. “Lexie took her home.”
I ignore him.
“Come on, man,” Miles calls. “Whatever you need to do can wait. She works at the ranch, after all. Have a drink with us.”
“I’m done drinking for the night.” I stride out the door of the bar and into the warm Montana summer air.
Chance drove us, so I’m walking. Where? No fucking clue. Does Carly live in town? Or does her family own one of the smaller ranches on the outskirts? She mentioned learning how to care for horses from her dad, so the family probably has some acreage.
I have no idea though.
I know nothing about this woman, and at the same time, I know everything about her. Everything she’s been through. If that Wolfe fucker weren’t dead, I’d track him down and kill him all over again.
And the worst part? I know I should have handled things with her differently. She’s better off without me. I’ll apologize and give her room. It’s a big ranch and that can easily be accomplished.
I’m not good enough for her. I’m not sticking around. I have one woman to worry about. My mom. Maybe I’m a dick, but it’s better now if she sees me that way. She can find a man who will treat her like a queen.
Yep, I sure dodged that gorgeous bullet.
Except…why does the idea of never seeing those green eyes light up or go hazy with passion again really piss me off? Why does the idea of some other man on the receiving end of those looks make me want to break some shit?
Maybe I didn’t dodge it after all. It sure feels like a bullet is lodged right in the center of my heart—in the shape of Carly Vance.
8
CARLY
* * *
“I tried when I got home,” I tell Dr. Lake the next day at our video chat session before my workday begins, “but I couldn’t recapture the feeling. It was like the vibrator had lost its magic.”
“The vibrator was never magic, Carly.”
“You know what I mean. I couldn’t”—I swallow—“finish.” My cheeks are on fire.
“The vibrator was never supposed to be a substitute for the feelings an actual person can invoke in you,” Dr. Lake says. “It was only to let you learn pleasure by your own hand, that your body isn’t broken. That—”
“I know,” I interrupt. “You’ve told me this over and over. It’s just… I felt something amazing. Truly amazing, and then it got ruined. Everyone knows about me here. I couldn’t have just one moment. One perfect moment before reality broke through.” I shake my head. “I… think I need to leave Bayfield.”
Dr. Lake nods. “It’s an option. What do your parents think?”
I huff. “It’s my decision, not theirs.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “That’s true. You’re twenty-seven, not sixteen. Still, it would be a shock to them to have you move away.”
I roll my eyes, envisioning that fun conversation. “I already know what they think, so I haven’t told them.”
Dr. Lake smiles. “They only want what’s best for you. They love you.”
“I know that, and I love them for it, but last night proved that I can’t be myself here. Austin didn’t know anything about me. He just thought I was a woman who wanted sex. Nothing more. I’m sure he’s been told the truth by now and now he’s… tainted by it, just like everyone else. Just like me. I can’t be the Carly I want to be here.”
“You can’t run away from what happened.”
“I know that. God, do I know that. But no one will let me move on in a town this small. Last night was proof. Chance Bridger interrupted us, stood up for me, and punched his half brother in the face. Because of me and my issues. Then…”
I laugh and rub a hand down my face.
“Then a crowd formed. They knew what was up. Why we were around the side of the bar. I feel like I’m in a soap opera and they got the first glimpse of a new season.”
“It sounds really embarrassing.”
“I’m surprised people didn’t have popcorn.”
Dr. Lake offers a small laugh, and I do, too. I’m not usually into dark humor, but it seems to work in this instance.
“I need to move forward, and…”
“And…?” Dr. Lake prompts.
“I never thought I could want a man after what I’ve been through, but I wanted this one. I wanted him like I’ve never wanted any man. Even before. I’ve never been this intensely attracted to someone.”