Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 39424 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 197(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39424 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 197(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
“But how… I mean…”
I don’t know how to explain what I’m asking, but he gets it all the same.
“She didn’t let me hide, Elias. I thought I’d never recover, and I had all that shit held inside. She loved me. Bum leg, scars, all the inner shit I deal with… she just loved me through it.”
I run my hand through my hair as I think about Chloe saying she wants to just have fun and no expectations. “Well, you’re a lucky man, Davis.”
“Shit man, you could have this too. You know you could. You just have to let her in.”
“Yeah,” I agree even though I know it’s not as easy as that. Chloe and I have a past, and I fuckin’ destroyed her. I’ll never have her trust again. “Yeah, look, thanks for listening to me. I gotta go.”
I hang up before he can say anything else. I grab my laptop and stuff it into my bag. I’ve got nothing done sitting here all morning, so I’m going to change locations. The need to see Chloe is overwhelming, and before I realize it, I find myself outside of Work It Out. I’m sitting on the bench, facing the big windows, and my laptop is open on my legs.
It’s not ideal, and my back won’t allow me to work like this all day, but at least being close to her gives me some comfort.
When the door opens and people come out, I know the class is over. It’s not long after that when Chloe comes out and meets me at my bench. I set my laptop down and slide over for her to sit down beside me.
She’s breathless, the little hairs around her neck are wet, and her face is flushed. “What are you doing out here, Elias?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to be close, ya know?”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t seen Ronnie in a bit. He finally got the hint; you really don’t have to worry about him.”
I could just let her think that’s why I’m sitting out here, but I come clean instead. “That’s not why I’m here. I wanted to see you.”
Her whole face lights up. “You did?”
She seems surprised, and that blows my mind a little. How can she not have an inkling how I feel about her? “Yeah. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I needed to see you.”
She’s about to respond when two older women walk up. They just walked out of the gym, and they’re telling Chloe what a good class it was.
Chloe turns to me with a smile. “Janet and Rachel… this is my friend, Elias. Elias, this is Janet and Rachel. They are regulars at Work It Out.”
I stand up and give each of them a shake of my hand. They preen under the attention, and the whole time I’m hanging on to the thought that Chloe just introduced me as her friend… again.
When the two ladies walk away, Chloe’s laughing. “Well, you’ve made their day.”
But I’m not looking at the two older women, I’m watching Chloe. “Friend, huh?”
She shifts in her seat. “We’re friends, right?”
I give her one nod as I stare into her eyes, wishing I could read what she’s thinking right now.
She shrugs. “I figure that’s the easiest. So when you leave again—well—you know…”
Her voice trails off, and I want to tell her that I’ll never leave again, but I can’t promise her that. I have commitments. Life and death commitments.
She stands up. “I better get back to it.”
“Chloe, wait.”
I stand up and reach for her, and automatically, our fingers thread together. She came out here with a smile on her face, and now that smile is gone.
“Do you understand how sorry I am? If I could go back and do things differently, I would.”
She tenses, searching my face. “What do you mean?”
“I wouldn’t have hurt you, that’s for sure.”
She puts her hand to my cheek, and I lean into her touch. “I know.”
I’m completely on edge by the way she looks at me. “Can I ask you something?”
She nods.
I focus on the words, and they hurt even asking her. “What do you see when you look at me?” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. What I want to ask her is if she could imagine waking up to me every morning, but I don’t have the guts to say it.
With a soft smile, she answers, “I see you, Elias. A good, honorable man.”
“But…”
She cuts me off by smiling and shaking her head. She traces her fingers across the scar on my face. I don’t flinch, I don’t react, I just stay perfectly still appreciating the touch she gives me. “I know what you want me to say. It would be easier for you if I said I saw your scars because in your mind that’s all people see when they look at you. But that’s not what I see. I don’t even see the scars when I look at you.”