Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 329(@200wpm)___ 263(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 329(@200wpm)___ 263(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
We’ve lost too much as it is.
Chapter 27
Gabby
The funny thing about pain is that there is no fill line. Logic should tell you that there’s a point when you can’t take anymore, where it overflows and your body just says, “Sorry, can’t do it. That’s enough.”
Today, I’ve discovered that’s not true. My body and mind are bruised so violently I am positive I’ll never find the person I used to be. Admittedly, I’m realizing that person wasn’t that great, but she was better than the shell that I am now. I’ve been forcing myself to function. It hasn’t been easy. The looks of pity have nearly killed me. I could see it shining in Dom and Thomas’s face. Even Dragon feels pity for me. I hate it. It makes the shame I feel even worse. I’ve not spoken a word about what happened, but it’s clear everyone knows I was raped. The mere thought makes me want to vomit. The only people around here who treat me halfway normal is Nicole and King. Since we got here, however, even Nicole looks at me with sympathy. I want to tell her—tell everyone—that their stares are mercilessly tearing me apart. I don’t. I know the truth. I brought this on myself. It appears karma is a bigger bitch than even me. She got her claws into me and served me with double the pain that I caused—maybe more.
Then, Ayita let me know about my brother. I don’t feel bad about my father and his reaction. He must be destroyed. My father may have faults, but he loves me and my brothers with everything cell of his body. He’s the only reason I’m able to walk around right now. I’m safe when my papi is around. He would fight the fires of hell to protect me. No one but him could have rescued me like he did. Without him, I don’t doubt that I would be dead. I seriously doubt Dom, or any of them, cared about me. I’m not saying I even blame them. I just know how it is.
The sad part is, I don’t know how I became this person. All I ever wanted was to be loved by Dom. In the beginning, I think he did. Then slowly, I could tell his eyes were traveling. I was desperate to keep his attention. I began encouraging T’s attention. At first, it was to make Dom jealous. Then he started noticing Thea. That nearly killed me. T’s attention was like a balm over my broken heart … and I was broken.
I had given Dom my virginity and had planned this whole life with him. I didn’t worry about college and all those things that other girls my age were going on about. My life was to be Dom’s old lady. That’s it. Then it all blew up around me, and the happiness that was supposed to be mine—the only happiness I ever wanted—was gone. I was desperate to keep it.
I was stupid.
I did so much. Now, it’s hard for me to fathom what I was thinking. I have no idea how I lost sight of reality, and just kept piling up the mistakes. I was sure I could convince Dom that we were meant to be together. He just had to see me as his woman again.
I push those thoughts away. I can’t think of them today. They haunt me enough at night. Right now, I have to concentrate on my papi. When I make it to the conference room where Ayita said they were, I meet Dom, BB, Thomas, Torch, and King. I tremble being surrounded by them, and before I can stop myself, I back up two steps.
“Are you okay, Gabby?” Dom asks, and I try not to flinch, but I’m pretty sure I don’t succeed.
Uncle Torch immediately comes over and puts his hand on my shoulder. I jump underneath his touch. I look up at him in apology. Tears are stinging my eyes. I cried a lot when Ayita told me about my brother. With all the times I’ve cried, you’d think there would be none left.
“I’m okay. I wanted to see my father,” I mumble, looking down at my feet rather than Dom.
“He’s in the conference room with Dragon. It might be better if you wait before you go in. They’re having … words,” Torch explains.
“Oh … I wanted to talk to him about going back home. Mom may need me,” I explain.
“I can take you back home tonight, Gabby,” BB responds. “Dad wants me to go home to watch over Mom. It will be late, though. Probably not ’til after midnight.”
“Thanks, BB,” I whisper, getting up enough courage to give him a watery smile.
“D-Do you n-need anything, Gabby?” Thomas asks. Shame fills me. They’re being so nice to me after everything I’ve done.