Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
“I want to tell you how proud I am of you,” she says softly, angling her head back so she can look up at me. “I watched you stand up for yourself, and for me, while being respectful and calm. Something I couldn’t do. You were confident and strong as you demanded the respect you deserve, and Evan, I think I fell in love with you all over again.”
My heart explodes in my chest as I get lost in her eyes and her words. A lump forms in my throat as I cup her hand at my neck. “Really?”
“Really,” she promises, her lips tipping up at the sides. “I feel it everywhere, the love I have for you. Thank you. Really. For everything you said about me and yourself. It’s all so true.”
I swallow thickly as I gaze into her eyes. “I meant every word I said.”
“I know. I felt them.”
“I did too,” I admit. “They scared me to say, but I was confident in us, for the first time ever.”
She scoffs. “You’d be surprised to know this, but you’ve been confident about us long before we made the trip here.”
I laugh. “No way.”
“Evan, you proudly told your family about me, you told my coach, and you run beside me with this look on your face that tells everyone to back the hell up.”
“Because you’re mine.”
“Yes, I am, and that’s the confidence I’m speaking of.”
I look deep into her eyes, surprised by all of it.
“I was able to tell you I loved you because I knew you loved me.”
“And I do, Callie. I will for the rest of my life.”
“I know,” she says, her eyes bright and full of love. “And I plan on doing the same.” Our eyes lock as the world continues around us. For me, everything has stopped. “Trust yourself,” she begs me, and my eyes sting a bit. “Just as I do.”
“I am so glad I didn’t recognize you at first.”
She grins, her eyes blinding me. “Me too.”
I lean down, unable to resist, and touch my lips to hers. Our lips move together as the waves crash against the shore, and for the first time in a long time, I can say I feel whole.
Not weak.
Not broken.
Not pathetic.
Not a failure.
Whole. Utterly and completely whole.
epilogue
Evan
The gymnastics team made it to the final four of the NCAA championship, and even though they came in third, I am beyond proud of our girls. Callie and I did our handshake after her first and last event that day, when she hit four for four. Just us two and a handshake that has become part of our story.
We did our handshake at Vance’s second birthday, where Nico still hated me. And again, when Aviva and Nico’s second baby, Elliot, was born. Nico still doesn’t like me, but at least he acknowledges me.
We even did it in front of my parents when they convinced Callie to try singing a part in one of the songs they had planned for a family dinner. Callie was awful, but I loved that she tried, and I swear, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.
We did a month in South Carolina and one in Nashville for the summer. When we decided to get an apartment together, I fully expected Nico to lose his shit, but he didn’t. When we moved at the beginning of August, we did our handshake on the patio, where we decided we’d have breakfast with each other every morning. When Nico helped us move in, he actually talked to me.
When the new school year started and we learned I was asked to come back as the girls’ athletic trainer, we not only did the handshake, but we kissed passionately in front of everyone. Since I moved to my own place, I wasn’t eligible to be an RA for the hockey house, but I’m still involved, giving advice and guidance to the guys. I’ve even found myself helping at the rink. I’m not skating, but I do go to games and help when I’m needed.
Above all, I’m deliriously happy, and I’m living.
It’s crazy to think that I wasn’t happy for so long, that only a year ago, I thought I wasn’t worth shit, a failure and a disgrace to my family. Now, I know none of that was true. I have worked so hard on myself, and I have dug deep to find the real me. I am making a difference in young hockey players’ lives. I am taping ankles like a pro for strong gymnasts, and I’m getting a degree to be able to help athletes in all sports know their worth. To never feel lost or fall into a hole the way I did.
I can’t believe how much has changed in a year, but I couldn’t ask for a better outcome. I don’t hate who I’m not anymore. I love and care for the person I am becoming. A man, worthy of so much. For so long, I was worried that I was ruining my parents’ legacy, but I’m not. Callie and I are building our own, and it’s looking brighter by the second.