Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79197 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79197 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Staring down at the paper, I wanted to tell him I didn’t want it. But Ben’s mom, Lee, had always been sweet to me. There were times I felt like she wanted to tell me to leave, but she could never bring herself to do so.
I sighed and reached for the letter. Bill had just suffered an unexpected loss, and the last thing I wanted was to cause him more grief. “I’m not sure what your mom could possibly want to say to me.”
My voice held a hint of anger. Bill gave me a knowing look.
“Thank you anyway for bringing it to me. You could have mailed it.”
“I know, but I wanted to see how you were doing. You know, check on you.”
I lifted my brow. “Check on me?”
It was then I saw Aiden. Surprisingly, he was still at the church. He’d just walked outside and was now standing behind Bill, looking at the two of us. I pulled my gaze away and motioned for Bill to walk with me, away from the wandering eyes of the church.
We walked for a few seconds in silence before he spoke, his voice low.
“I knew, Emma. I mean…I was pretty sure it was happening. I asked Ben about it, and he told me to mind my own business. I knew what he was doing, and I didn’t do anything, and for that, I’m so sorry. Maybe I was in denial or…hell. I don’t know. Afraid it was something in our blood because of how our daddy beat our mother.”
Stopping, I turned to face him, shock overwhelming me. “What?”
He kicked at something on the ground. “Our father used to beat Mom pretty badly. I was little and don’t remember a lot of it. Ben tried his best to hide it from me, keep me away from our dad. Ben took a few beatings when he got older, trying to keep Mom safe. By the time I figured out what was going on, it had stopped. For a while, anyway. I guess it started up again after I left for school, but Mom never said anything to us. At least not to me.”
My hand covered my mouth as I attempted not to throw up.
“I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree,” he whispered.
Instinctively, I took a step back.
“No, not me! Ben. I swear to you, I’ve never raised my voice or my hand to a woman. Hell, why do you think I was always gone? It was easier to ignore it all than deal with it, even if it made me a coward. But…truth be told, Emma, I always liked you. More than I should have. And I was jealous of my brother. There were times I wanted to ask you, to beg you, to just leave with me, but I knew it wouldn’t happen. I figured you stayed with him because you loved him. In my mind, I guess I hoped that meant he didn’t actually hit you, but it was more…verbal. Which doesn’t make it any better.”
My head felt like it was stuck in a dark tunnel. I opened my mouth to say something and couldn’t. I could barely process everything he was saying to me right now.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, then opened them. “Emma, I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for not getting you out of there when my gut told me to. For ignoring how I felt about you. For the baby…”
My gaze dropped to the ground. This was all too much.
Bill placed his finger under my chin and lifted my eyes to his. “For letting my brother have the one woman I loved.”
The air left my lungs. Bill didn’t live in Dallas and hardly ever came home, except during the holidays. There were times I would see him staring at me, but I always assumed it was because he knew what Ben was doing. Maybe he’d seen a bruise that wasn’t covered all the way or saw me flinch anytime Ben raised a hand.
“Bill, I—”
He leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine.
At first, I wasn’t sure what to do. But before I could even react, Bill stepped away. The kiss was over as fast as it had begun.
“I know you don’t want me, Emma. And I don’t blame you; I wouldn’t want any part of that past either. It’s just, when I found the letter, I knew I had to give it to you in person so I could say I was sorry and tell you how I felt.”
He looked away, then back at me. “I hope you find happiness and love, Emma. Lord knows you deserve it.”
Not sure what to say or do, I whispered, “I hope you do as well.”
Then he turned and walked toward a car that had been parked a bit farther down the street from the church. I had no idea how he even knew I was at the church to begin with, and I wasn’t about to question it. Bill was clearly good at his job. And he should be, after all. He worked for the FBI.