Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 92702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Even now, when he’s treated me so brutally, I want to reach out and comfort him. At least Christian has Siân’s hand to hold, but Enzo might as well be alone. He would probably slap my hand away if I tried to touch him right now. It hurts to think of him suffering through this alone, silently. I wish there was something I could do.
“Thank you for coming,” he murmurs to Christian, then nods to Siân. “And be sure to take care of yourself. You’re carrying my niece or nephew. Precious cargo and all that.” The three of them share a soft laugh while I merely wait, silent and trembling, to be told what to do next.
As it turns out, Enzo tells me nothing, only climbing steps up into the cabin without bothering to check whether I’m following him. Christian and Siân head back to their car—hardly acknowledging me.
I guess this is it. I’m about to step into my new life in a country I’ve never visited, in a world, I know very little about.
I touch my foot to the first step, take a deep breath, and continue to climb.
4
ENZO
I suppose this house is mine now, and the land upon which it sits. I suppose all of this is mine. I should feel something, anything, but I don’t. The best I can do now is drag myself through the halls upon returning from the funeral. Eventually, I might be able to process the implications of all of this. The fact that I’m now head of the family and it all falls upon my shoulders.
Instead of coming to terms with my new reality, too much of my bandwidth is caught up in hating myself. I’m unable to process what I just went through today, watching Grandfather’s coffin being lowered into the ground, and so I must turn to what’s been at the forefront of my consciousness all this time.
How I’m the one who did this. How all of this started because of one stupid, reckless decision on my part. I could hardly bring myself to greet the many mourners who shook my hand today, all of whom pledged loyalty to the family and expressed their deepest sympathy for the loss of a great man. All the while, through all of their weak attempts at bringing comfort, all I could do was blame myself. I came close to telling them more than once that it was me, that I was the reason the man is now in the ground, that all of this is the result of a rash decision.
No, that would be childish, not to mention foolish. Nobody needs to know. I’m sure they all have their theories on what might have happened, though I’ve been tight-lipped on the subject. Suffice it to say, one of our enemies got to him, and they’re going to pay. In our world, discretion is key. They respect that, I’m glad to say.
My footfalls echo in the large, otherwise silent house. I’m drawn to the first stash of alcohol my gaze lands upon like a moth to a flame. The first gulp of whiskey burns its way through my chest, and I savor the sensation, relish it. It does nothing to lessen the much more potent fire blazing away there, but then I doubt the entire bottle would have such an effect.
If only, if only. The words run through my head as I go to the window, gazing out upon the gardens Grandfather so enjoyed strolling through during his rare moments of peace. He always said he did his best thinking out there, but he could not have named a single one of the flowers now in bloom. He appreciated beauty, even if he could not understand it.
If only I hadn’t fucked up and taken her. If only I had questioned the logic of the situation. Why would Alvarez have his own daughter waiting at the warehouse? Surely, he would not have sent her as a liaison; there was no reason for a member of his own family to have his prized product hidden in her bag when it was so clear she was on her way out. She’d been trying to get away when Prince and I caught her. She wasn’t leaving the drugs for someone; she was sneaking off with them. Now, why would a member of that family do such a thing?
My hand tightens around the glass until I’m afraid I might shatter it, but then I would deserve the injury. I deserve much worse than that. So fucking stupid. And I’m supposed to lead this family now? When I so blindly, so carelessly, led us to this point?
If only I hadn’t taken her. Brought her home. Kept her locked away. What did I think I was doing? Scoring points for us? How pathetic.