Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 61101 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61101 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
“We don’t have to find him right now,” Dante assures me.
Then pressing his cell phone to his ear, he starts making calls to arrange backup. The outbuilding needs to be sorted out before the owners see it, and there’s bound to be questions about the explosion because the neighbors will have heard it. Thankfully, the connections Dante has made over the years will make sure there isn’t any police involvement. We also need to figure out who helped my mother escape.
I can’t stop the tears from falling. Growing up in captivity, I never expected I’d see my mother again, so I didn’t give much thought to how I’d feel about her if I did. But sitting beside her in the car tonight, I knew I could never forgive her.
I wanted her dead.
But, if I consider the death of my mother to be a godsend, does that mean I’m a bad person or just truly fucking broken.
“I didn’t want her to wake up,” I tell Harper. “I sat in the car tonight and wished I could see her take her last breath. I don’t know if I could be the one to kill her. I’m not sure I have the strength in me to do that, but fuck, I really wanted to see her final moments.”
Harper sits back, so she can look into my eyes. When she’s got something serious to say, there’s a little arch in her brow as she raises it. I can see it now, and it makes me smile.
“I understand how you feel,” she tells me, and I know it’s the truth. We’ve both been broken by the ones who were meant to keep us safe. “I have worried the same thing about myself because seeing my father take his final breath brought me a sick form of solace. When I watched Caia kill him, I didn’t feel regret, guilt, or even sadness. But I think, even if I’d had the weapon in my hand, I probably wouldn’t have been able to kill him, because there has always been a part of me that longed for his approval and love. And I hate that. I hate that, deep down, I know all I ever wanted was for him to be a real parent.”
She’s right. Maybe I’ve been waiting for some weird miracle, hoping my mother will admit it was all a terrible mistake. I want her to apologize and tell me that when she allowed River and me to be taken, she didn’t know we were going to be harmed.
“I hate what they’ve done to us,” I tell her. “Even though I can happily walk into a home, an office, or wherever we find these sick fucks and end them, I can’t imagine doing it to the one person I should be able to kill.”
“That doesn’t make you weak,” Harper tells me.
I can see it in her eyes, she wants me to believe her. But I can’t. Not yet anyway. I think I’m far too focused on the problem at hand. Knowing my mother is free once more, I can’t settle. My nerves are on edge, and it’s making me jittery.
“Perhaps it doesn’t,” I finally say to her. “My mind is a mess at the moment. I want this over with now. It’s been years, yet my mother can still make me feel like a toy she can play with.”
Dante enters the room. He looks like an avenging angel who’s ready to kill someone. But right now, all I want is to sit here in the quiet.
Crouching down in front of us, he takes my hand. Dante doesn’t know how to be gentle and affectionate. Instead, he offers a domineering, commanding tenderness.
“The cleanup team are on their way. We have to wait for them to get here before we can leave, and then we can try to locate your mother,” he explains.
“I don’t want to go anyway. Not right now.” My voice is a whisper. “Can we just…I don’t know, sit here for a while? I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to chase around looking for my mother. I want to plan everything properly before we go after her again.”
I know she’ll be well hidden by now. And I don’t want us to rush in without knowing what we’re doing. If we act in anger and make a mistake, it’s only going to put us a hundred steps back.
“It’s your choice,” Dante tells me. “Anything you want or need, we’re here for you.”
“You’re not alone, Rayne,” Harper reminds me, and I nod.
“Thank you. Both. I just feel we’re going to be fighting a losing battle if we rush after her without having all the information we need. We have Bane’s business card, but I’m not sure how it’s going to help.” I look at Dante, then at Harper. “Unless you want to—”