Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Now my family was dead and all I got was ‘I’m so sorry’, fuck that. I tried doing things the right way, that shit was dead. I’d trusted the system and the system fucked me up the ass, now I was gonna do this shit my way.
I calmed myself as I sat at my desk. It wouldn’t pay to lose my shit here and now. I’ve already done that with no results. All my anger got me was frustration and setbacks.
So instead, I’ve let the anger give way to stone cold hate. I’ve found that it’s easier to hide hate than anger. Anger is usually instantaneous, while hate you can easily hide behind a façade.
5
Nick
“Anyone seen Sheridan?” I heard the Chief calling out through the bullpen as he searched for me. I didn’t call out, he’d find me soon enough. I had a pretty good idea what he was after and wasn’t interested in his shit no more than I had been in the captain’s.
A few months ago that would’ve been different. Not that I was a brown nose, but I had respect for command, I cared about such things. These days I could give a fuck.
I guess I half expected the Cap to pass on the message, I just didn’t expect him to do that shit so soon. If he thought this one was gonna have better luck they were both fucked.
“Oh there you are, where are we on the Sullivan case?” I motioned to the dead board I had set up in my office where some poor smuck had had the misfortune of playing in the wrong kiddie pool.
Brian Sullivan had been a billionaire who had more money than sense. He thought his money made him invincible; a bullet to the head had shown otherwise. I give a fuck.
I was working the case same as I had been with all the others since I came back after my leave but my mind was miles away. I was more interested in going after men like the one we’d taken down tonight, the ones directly and indirectly responsible for murdering my son.
“Good work, I’m glad we didn’t lose you after…how are you doing?” He paced in front of my desk like he had something on his mind. I knew what that something was and was only waiting for him to bring it up so I could shoot him down.
I didn’t bother to answer his almost slip-up. There was nothing left to say on the subject, not to him anyway. He’d be lucky if he didn’t end up on the evening news with his dick shoved down his neck too.
“We should have the perp in house pretty soon. The task force went after him after he went on the run.” I waited for him to get to the real reason for his visit since his damn pacing was starting to make me twitch.
I can’t stand wasted movement, too distracting. After a few more pointless murmurings he got to it.
“Your captain tells me that you’ve refused the new detail, I hope you know the mayor…”
“You want my badge you can have it.” I looked him square in the eye and waited for his play.
I needed my position here to break down certain doors and keep my ear to the ground, but there were ways around that shit.
I wasn’t too worried about them catching onto me, I covered my steps too well for that. They’d never expect it of me anyway so I wasn’t expecting them to look.
No, as far as they were concerned I was a grief stricken husband and father who was just going through the motions these days.
Immediately after the incident, I’d given a good impression of trying to climb into a bottle. That’s why they were throwing amateur bullshit my way, like the Sullivan case.
They thought I needed time to get myself back in top form. Good, let them keep thinking that shit. It was as good a cover as any.
That begs to reason why they’d want me on the ‘Savage’ case. I’m not even in homicide, but I guess they think since I know about as much about the drug trade in the city as anyone, that I would have some kind of insight into this guy, seeing as he was only going after drug dealing scum.
“Look, I know it’s been hard…”
“Respectfully sir you don’t know shit. Until you stand over the pieces of your pre-teen son and the woman you’ve slept next to for thirteen years you’ll never know.” He swallowed and looked away sheepishly.
“The answer’s no, and you can tell the mayor to save his breath.” I guess I wasn’t doing so well with the anger thing today. Oh well, I hadn’t gone to them they’d come to me.
He wanted to come back at me hard I know but he was caught between a rock and a hard place. I am the best, even when I’m at my worse, which is what everybody thinks I am right now.