Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Now it was I who trembled, to feel her soft skin under my hands again. I wanted to savor, to dive right in here and now, but that wasn’t the plan.
Looking deep into her eyes, I saw a mix of longing, uncertainty and dare I hope just a remnant of what she once held in her heart for me?
I was holding everything dear to me, all that I held dear in the world, was right here in my hands and I knew it. She was my last link to humanity, to the man I once was. We studied each other for what seemed like forever but was only a few seconds at most.
I had one moment of doubt. Could I bring her into my life now? Knowing what I had become, what laid ahead, the things I still had yet to do? Would it be fair to take her to my bed? Fuck yes.
I kissed her forehead and put her away from me. Not here not now. I returned to my task while she stood there and watched.
I found a bag on the shelf in her closet and went through her clothes looking for something suitable for work. I chose a suit and some shoes since she seemed stuck on the spot.
“Baby, get dressed.” She stood just where I’d left her and watched me as I stuffed the clothes into the bag.
When that was done, I turned to take care of her. Without saying a word, I pushed the robe off her shoulders and pulled the tee shirt down over her head.
“Your jeans can fit over your sleep shorts. Lift.” She lifted her legs wordlessly and stepped into her pants.
Once she was dressed, I looked around for shoes and grabbed a pair of tennis shoes, shoving them onto her feet. I didn’t waste any movements, didn’t give her a chance to argue. By the time she came to her senses, I wanted to be a million miles away.
“Let’s go.” I grabbed her hand and started leading her out. “Nick, I don’t think this is a good idea. You…”
“Not here, not now. We’ll talk when we get home.”
I practically dragged her out the door with her hand held securely in one of mine, and her stuff in the other. The guard looked up from his phone, but went right back to whatever he was doing.
Once out in the night air, I breathed a sigh of relief. She was still nervous but I was hoping to put all that to rest before the night was gone.
“Nick…” her voice trembled.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay now.” I helped her onto my ride and climbed on before pulling out, and headed for home.
There were no words spoken between us as I ate up the pavement in my rush to get her home. I’d prepared myself for everything but the way I’d feel being this close to her again.
I wasn’t sure how much she knew about my life since the murders or even in the years before. Until the day of the funeral we hadn’t spoken to each other in almost thirteen years, she was in for a surprise.
I felt her body shake as I pulled into the long driveway. Her arms around my middle went slack before tightening again. I helped her off and stood beside her looking up at the house.
“You bought it.” Her words were barely above a whisper but I heard her all the same. I also heard the deep-rooted emotion in those three little words.
There was so much I wanted to say to her in that moment, but I didn’t. There will be time enough for that later.
“Yes.” The old Victorian had always been her dream house. When we were too young and too stupid to understand that life was fucked, she had fallen in love with the place and woven dreams around her and I living in the drafty old house and raising a hundred kids there together.
Standing here now under the moonlight with her finally at my side where she belonged, I was able to breathe for the first time since I put my son in the ground.
“Come.” I held her hand tighter and led her up the steps to the front door. I didn’t do anything as sappy as carrying her over the threshold, but the solid click of the door behind us was just as poignant.
“Welcome home.” She looked up at me with that look I remembered so well. After all this time it was still there, if with a touch of wariness added in.
I guess it was going to be up to me to erase that shit in the future. For now, it was enough just having her here at last.
I wrapped my hand around her nape and held her in place, just looking at her, soaking her in. I felt life seep back into me as I stood there looking down at her.