Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 148397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 742(@200wpm)___ 594(@250wpm)___ 495(@300wpm)
He just shrugged so fucking sadly, I had the crazy urge to pat him on the shoulder.
Sniffing back whatever emotions he refused to share, he braced himself. “Look, I’m sorry. This is asking a lot of me. To trust a Master? To trust you? I know what I saw in that cave and know that Ily sees the good in you, but…it’s hard.”
“I get it.” I crossed my arms. “More than you know.”
He huffed. “I…I’ve always been sceptical and have a habit of trusting the wrong people. That’s how I ended up here so…I can’t really claim I have good instincts. So…fuck it. I’m going to ignore those instincts and trust what I see instead.”
“And what do you see?”
He gave me a twisted smile. “I wished I didn’t…believe me. But I see a man who is so fucking in love with Ilyana he’d carve out his heart and slap it onto a plate for her to eat if she told him she was even slightly peckish.”
I stiffened.
Not what I expected him to say.
“I see a man who killed out of pure passion not psychopathic joy. I see a man who’s made mistakes and definitely has a shit ton of issues but…a man who wants to be good despite every part of him being dark.”
My spine tingled. “I didn’t come here for the shrink special—”
“You don’t understand how much it meant to me that Kyle got what he deserved. He’s cut so many of us. He’s burned us, brutalised us, and has torn my body in two each time he fucked me.” His limbs started to shake as he dug his hands into his linen pockets. “I wanted to die that day. Pretty sure I would’ve if it wasn’t for Ily, Rach, Mollie…and you. I’m kinda mad at all of you if I’m honest. I could’ve been free by now, and…seeing as I can’t say this to them, I’ll say it to you.” He snickered. “Isn’t that fucking hilarious? Can’t be honest with the people I love the most, yet I’ll confess all this shit to the man who has everything I want.”
He looked at the floor.
I waited.
I’d been where he was so many fucking times.
The least I could do was be patient.
Finally, he choked, “I’m so close to being done, man. I-I’m barely holding on.”
I rocked back on my heels.
Yet another thing I definitely hadn’t expected.
But…I probably should have.
Peter came across as flippant and bold, but wasn’t everyone hiding something in this godforsaken place? All of them just hanging on, surviving, hiding, hoping?
Standing there in a busy kitchen with steam and sugar and salt, I saw everything he’d done his best to hide.
Everything Ily probably saw. Everything mirrored in me.
And all that tenderness inside me welled up to include him.
The guy in love with my girl.
The one man who had the power to rip out my heart if Ily ever chose him.
“You’re not allowed to give up yet,” I whispered, my voice rough.
He laughed under his breath, trying to hide his despair. His brown eyes met mine as he flashed his gloved palms in a sad shrug. “When?”
Fuck.
That one word.
It cut me.
Stepping into him, all those urges to protect my siblings when I was younger surged. I fought the very real need to hug the bastard. “I don’t know. But not yet.”
He sniffed and nodded.
It took him a moment, but his shoulders straightened. “I did not mean to say any of that. What the hell?”
“It’s fine.”
He narrowed his eyes with a flash of rage. “You’re good, I’ll give you that.”
“Good at what?”
“Making people hope.”
I flinched.
“You tortured Ily with that hope when you first arrived. I hated you for that. I still do. Hope is the worst fucking emotion in here and I was perfectly fine before Ily infected me with that disease. She gave me hope. And God, it’s ruined me.” A deeper flush of anger on his face. “You know, I was coping just fine before she came along. Of course, for the first year, I fought. I got my ass handed to me over and over again. But by the time I realised I couldn’t win, Victor started rewarding me. Trusting me. Making me do things I can never undo.”
He shook his head, unable to stop now he’d started. “But the thing about hope is…it’s too fucking powerful to stop once someone dangles it in front of you. It spreads like the flu. It kills the weak and weakens the strong. So I hope to fucking God you’re going to see this through with us, because if you don’t? If you decide the darkness is easier and keeping Ily collared is better than all the other shit that might follow, then you might as well just kill us now because we won’t survive. Not after this.”
His words hovered in the air between us.