Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 81401 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81401 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
zara
Thirteen
Walking side by side with Levi through the park is refreshing. It’s a change of pace from my normal everyday routine. With Van, everything was about making sure we were getting the attention we deserved. I think some of that stemmed from Laura and her desire to have her clients the center of attention. That works for Van, but not me. I’ve always been the reserved one, the one to hide in the shadows or wear a disguise, which makes being out here with Levi so different. I knew the second that he pulled his hat down that he likes it this way too. That he, like me, prefers anonymity while trying to be normal.
Reporters have often commented on me being an introvert, asking why I shy away from the spotlight. I’ve never considered myself to be anything other than outgoing. Just because I want some normalcy in my life outside of my job doesn’t mean I suffer from any form of social anxiety. There are days when I like to shut everything down and be “off.” To not have to worry if my make-up is perfect or if my hair is out of place.
Levi stops and tilts his head back, letting the sun beat down on his face. There was a time when I used to lay out in my backyard and tan, but those days are long gone. It’s not that I’m afraid of the sun, it’s because the label wants me to keep a certain image. They like the porcelain skin look, and it’s my job to make sure I bathe in sunblock daily. Of course, I’ll reap the benefits when I’m sixty and still look like I’m twenty, but I do miss the tan lines I used to have.
Every so often Levi’s hand will brush against my arm, or I’ll find a reason to place my hand on his forearm to show him something rather ridiculous along the trail. I pretend to be taken by a bird or flower, hoping he can’t see through my bullshit because I haven’t a clue as to what I’m talking about. I’ve always lived in the city and am probably making a fool out of myself by pointing out naturist things that he likely already knows about. I can’t even explain why I’m doing this because I am nowhere near interested in anything with him other than friendship, but everything with him seems natural, and touching him seems like the right thing to do.
The fact that he’s offered to take me to Nashville is monumental not only because he’s helping me out, but also because he’s taking time away from his children. When he told me that he made a promise to his girls, my heart swelled. My dad used to do that. He’d make promises and follow through with them until one day he decided I was no longer worth his words.
When I was little, I thought I had the best dad in the world. One of my favorite things was to build the most elaborate sandcastle we could think of, or he’d have me ride on his shoulders when we went to the county fair. There was a certain joy in being taller than everyone else—being able to see what was ahead—without having to look through the gaps between bodies. Or knowing that because my dad was an architect, I would always have the most outlandish castle on the beach.
I don’t remember exactly when everything changed. He went from being the best to just being someone that came home late every night or sometimes not at all. I do remember the nights that my mom would pace in front of the window, waiting for the headlights from his car to shine through. She would weep silently but mask her emotions the second he walked in the door. My parents would never fight in front of Darian and me. They’d never raise their voices either. I think now that I look back on it and try to compare what my father did to what Van did, there were signs that I should’ve known something had changed with my dad, but I was too young to understand what they meant. Sometimes he tried too hard, forcing Darian and me to hang out with him. With Van, there was nothing.
Levi is putting his daughters before everything else, and that is what stands out to me the most. My father didn’t. He chose his mistress over his own family. He walked out and never turned around to say goodbye even with Darian and I crying at the window. If it weren’t for our mother, I don’t think we’d be where we are today. She guided us, believed in us. She’s our number one fan.
There aren’t too many parents in the industry that put their children first. They depend on nannies to take care of their children. It’s refreshing to see that Levi does, which makes me want to tell him that he should stay with his girls and I’ll be fine, but there’s a part of me that wants him to show me around Nashville, and that part makes me seem selfish.