Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 86763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
My hand stilled on Bullet’s head and I snapped my eyes up to Hawke who was watching me intently. I opened my mouth to ask the obvious question but he cut me off with a shake of his head. “As hard as it’s going to be to hear about what was done to him, just remember that Ronan is the one who needs you now.”
I shook my head as Hawke rose and dropped a hand on my shoulder before stepping over the log and walking away. I didn’t bother chasing after him because I was too caught up in what he’d said. I felt my stomach roll violently.
“Hawke!” I called, but I didn’t look at him to see if he stopped. “Where is he?”
“The Water’s Edge Motel. Room 127.”
I may have nodded in response; I wasn’t really sure. I wanted to go running to that motel and demand Ronan tell me what Hawke was talking about but Hawke’s words kept repeating themselves in my head.
Ronan is the one who needs you now.
Had the military lied to me? They’d said Trace had been killed by friendly fire during a training exercise. I’d never even thought to question them – why the hell would I? But if they had lied, why hadn’t Ronan told me the truth?
Another sick feeling went through me.
He wouldn’t have told me if the truth was something he didn’t think I could handle. Which meant it was really bad.
Bullet began nudging me in earnest and I realized I’d gotten so worked up that I was nearing a panic attack. I sucked in several deep breaths and focused on one of the mountain peaks across the water. I carefully worked my eyes to the right, counting each peak in turn until I felt my fear subside.
Ronan is the one who needs you now.
I didn’t know what that meant but I knew Hawke was telling the truth. And I finally realized that the Ronan I’d known hadn’t been lost to me simply because Trace had been taken from him…it was how he’d been taken that had changed everything.
But if I wanted answers, it meant I had to do what I promised myself I wouldn’t. I had to see Ronan again.
* * *
It took several long seconds for me to get up the nerve to rap my knuckles on the motel room door. When Ronan opened it, I couldn’t say what surprised me more – his appearance or the gun he was holding loosely against his leg.
I’d never seen Ronan in anything other than a suit and on the rare occasion, jeans, so to see him in a pair of sweats and a simple white T-shirt caught me off guard. But it was the smudges under his eyes and the bleakness in his gaze that had me wishing more than ever that I had the right to touch him.
“Can I come in?” I asked, not liking how shaky my voice sounded.
Ronan studied me for a long moment and then finally opened the door wider. The room was dark because the curtains were drawn despite it being early afternoon. My conversation with Hawke the day before had left me too rattled to go see Ronan last night and I’d ended up sleeping in this morning after tossing and turning all night. I’d told work I wouldn’t be in today and I hadn’t even bothered trying to work from home because I was too distracted.
From the condition of the motel room, it seemed like Ronan hadn’t been faring much better than me. I supposed it wasn’t unusual for the bed to be unmade but the half empty bottle of scotch sitting on the nightstand definitely wasn’t the norm. In all the time I’d known Ronan, I’d seen him drink on only the rarest of occasions and always in moderation. I glanced over my shoulder as Ronan closed the door, drenching the room in darkness. I was glad when he flicked on the floor lamp near the door because it gave me a chance to study him. He had yet to say anything and he hadn’t put the gun down. That bothered me…a lot. Not because I believed him to be a danger to me, but because I couldn’t figure out why he had it out in the first place.
Ronan’s eyes held mine for a moment but his expression was unreadable and after what seemed an unnaturally long time, he finally went to the chair by the table and tucked the gun into the shoulder holster that was draped over the back of it. Once the gun was put away, I was surprised to see the hand he’d been holding it with start to flex and release several times before the pad of each finger began tapping rhythmically against the thumb.
The nervous gesture hit me hard and I actually had to sit down on the end of the bed as Hawke’s words went through me again. My intent when I’d come here had been to demand answers about what had really happened to Trace but seeing Ronan so broken had me hesitating. I nearly shook my head when things finally clicked into place for me. I’d wanted to prove to Ronan that I could be the man he needed instead of the boy he remembered. But maybe what he needed – what he’d always needed since the day he’d lost Trace – was the same thing I’d needed after my parents had died…someone to trust, someone to hold on to when the pain became too much.