Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 27474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 137(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
Not remembering what happened at that party is driving me closer to a psychotic break, and work is the only thing keeping me on the side of sanity.
I throw myself into it with a vengeance, sketching my way through the trauma while Elise sits in my studio with me, one hand on her swollen belly as she flips through the pages of a romance novel. She deserves an award in patience for not pushing me to talk, but I sense her growing restlessness.
With a heavy sigh, she sets the book down.
I steel myself. This is it. No more small talk about the fashion show, or the new designs I’m blistering my fingers over because I can’t stop sketching.
“I’m worried about you,” she says, her pale blue gaze burning through my indifference. “So is Landon, and don’t get me started on how concerned the chancellor is.”
Or Sebastian.
We’ve talked on the phone every day, sometimes twice a day. It’s become our ritual, and I know when he does come home, and things go back to normal, losing that daily connection with him is going to devastate me.
But I can’t let myself think about that, and I can’t let him know how close I am to falling apart.
“Novalee?” she says, forcing my attention back to her.
“I’m fine.”
Sketch, sketch, sketch.
Fine is my new favorite word, one I mutter a lot lately—to Sebastian on the phone, to Liam and my brother, even to Ford, the one time I passed him in the hall on the way to my studio.
“How are you, baby girl?”
Fine, fine, fine.
I’ve mastered the art of dodging the stares, some sympathetic, some curious, some cruel. It’s all I do now, avoiding people and repeating my favorite word when they won’t let me.
Elise leans forward in her seat. “I said I was fine, too, after...” She swallows hard. “After Jerome.”
I know what it cost her to say that name, to let her thoughts return to a man she thought she could trust—a man who showed her how wrong she was.
Why did I accept that glass of champagne?
Why didn’t I leave the moment he cornered me in the foyer?
Why, why, why?
And why can’t I remember anything afterward?
“Elise…I can’t.” Panic creeps in from the edges of my mind, and my hand shakes, the lines turning into uncontrolled strokes. I toss the drawing into the overflowing trash receptacle three feet away.
“You haven’t talked about it since you came home,” she says, wielding more persistence than she’s ever dared.
“I said I can’t.” Reaching for a fresh piece of paper, I shake my head. “Not yet. I just...I need to focus on work right now.”
“Okay.” Her tone softens, relents. “You’re not ready, but when you are, I’m here for you, just like you were for me.” She picks up her book, and I pull in a breath as I bury my head in my work again.
The outline of a mermaid gown materializes on the page, making me think of the sea and beach cottages and intense ocean eyes.
He’s my rock, and he’s not here.
The door bursts open, startling me, and I find Liam standing in the doorway. Spotting the cellphone in his hand, I jump to my feet and make it halfway across the room when the tightness of his mouth registers.
My footsteps falter. “Is Sebastian on the phone?”
He looks at the cell in his hand and blinks, his lips moving as if he wants to say something, but no words come out. That’s when I glance over his shoulder and notice the rest of the Brotherhood crowding behind him in the hall. Landon, Vance, Ford, Mr. Bordeaux, Hugo, Pax, Miles…
All of them but two.
“What’s going on?”
With a gulp, Liam enters my studio, and the rest of the men file in after him. Elise pushes up from the chair, and Liam shakes his head.
“You both…you need to sit down.”
Nausea rises.
Elise plops back down as Landon crosses the room to his wife’s side.
I stumble back a step. “What is it? Did they find Axel?”
“They found him, but…” Another shake of his head, and I don’t realize I’m trembling until he pulls me into his arms. “Novalee—” His voice cracks, and the floor breaks open at my feet.
“Are they coming home? Tell me,” I choke, clutching his suit.
“Their plane went down.” He sucks in a deep breath, and his arms squeeze the air from my lungs. “I’m so sorry, my sweet girl.”
PLAYLIST
1. “Twenty Eight” by The Weeknd
2. “The Death of Peace of Mind” by Bad Omens
3. “What if I took it Off For You” by Nemahsis
4. “Middle of the Night (Violin)” by Joel Sunny
5. “Don’t Mess With My Mind” by EMO
6. “Promises” by EMO
7. “Dangerous Game” by Klergy, BEGINNERS
8. “Dynasty” by MIIA
9. “Call My Name” by EMO, Yolo
10. “We Are Stars” by The Pierces
11. “Faith” by The Weeknd
12. “Another Day” by Michele Morrone