Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 94489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
"Intense."
She looks at me, that Bash mix of love is serious business, and love is joy. "You were texting her. You didn't wipe off her lipstick. You didn't cover her marks. And now, she's coming to the opera with us. To dinner. Two days after you spent the night with her. That means something." She takes another bite. Then she channels Bash perfectly. "You don't have to admit it to me. But you should admit it to yourself. You deserve to be happy, Simon. Why are you always fighting that?"
With every bite, my thoughts scatter. Opal is good at channeling Bash.
Too good.
It hurts. Calling on those memories of him. Feeling his presence here. Seeing him in her.
It's a necessary pain.
But a pain still.
Eventually, Opal declares me madly in love with Vanessa, moves on to other concerns.
The freshness of the mango in her mango sticky rice.
The warm air on our walk home.
Whether we should watch an old show or a new one. The mix of sentimentality, and above it all, cleverness makes Dawson's Creek the perfect Simon watch, apparently.
But it's not the same without the original theme song. And what's she going to do? Buy a DVD?
She pulls the theme up on YouTube to start the episode. Watches from the beginning. Stops me from lecturing her about the horror of sixteen-year-old Pacey pursuing his thirty-something high school teacher.
The show frames it as him pursuing her.
Him, wearing her down.
Fucked up on every level.
This show was on when I was Opal's age. No, younger.
I didn't watch. We didn't have a TV growing up.
But my classmates did.
Did Vanessa watch?
Did she think anything of it?
Or was she more fixated on the main character's obsession with sex?
I don't usually think of the past. Better to move forward. To build a future.
But, as we finish the second episode, I think of Vanessa. The girl I knew in high school.
Activities kept her busy. Track, mock trial, debate team. She aced her classes. She studied a lot.
And her family was, is, prominent. She made a lot of appearances. Gained a lot of press as a Cinderella story. Her mother and her coming from nothing, meeting the biggest trial lawyer on the East Coast, marrying into this family of money and esteem—
Her dad mostly fights big corporations who abuse their power.
He believes in fairness and justice.
She takes after him.
She's a part of this world now. She belongs in it. Knows how to work it.
But does she feel that?
Or does she still feel out of place?
When the episode ends, Opal gets ready for bed, wishes me good night.
I try to stay busy with work, but my thoughts keep going to Vanessa.
After an hour, I give up on resisting her. I slip into my room, lock my door, pick up our conversation from earlier.
Simon: Are you alone?
Chapter Nineteen
VANESSA
My cell blinks with a notification.
It's there, on the end table, three feet away.
Usually, I keep it in the living room—that's the only way to stop myself from working in bed. But I don't want to wake my guests.
They're asleep in the main room. Celine has been asleep all night.
She roused, briefly, when I got home, but only for long enough to tend to her son, say hello, thank me for the hospitality.
He's like her. Quiet.
I haven't heard him cry once.
Maybe he's past that age. Or maybe that's what happens in a house with abuse.
He learns not to express his needs.
Can a child that young learn?
I try to push the thought aside. They're safe. She feels comfortable enough she's sleeping soundly. Right now, that's what matters.
The injustices in the world are infinite.
I can't solve those.
But I can help her and her son escape her husband.
I use the bathroom, wash up, brush my teeth one more time for good measure. Then I slip into my room, and I give in to the temptation of my cell.
Simon.
Simon: Are you alone?
Vanessa: It's late.
Simon: It is.
Vanessa: You made me wait.
Simon: I did.
Because he was busy?
Or because he's trying to make me wait?
No. He wanted to see me today. I said no.
He wants to be here.
In my bed.
Maybe in my life too.
I can handle the former. The latter?
I have too many other things on my mind. I can't begin to contemplate that.
But this—
The shiny, sexy break from my life—
I need this.
Vanessa: I'm alone. In my bedroom. You?
Simon: Same.
Vanessa: I've never seen your bedroom.
Simon: You'd hate it.
Vanessa: I would?
Simon: This apartment belonged to my father.
Vanessa: Didn't you live at the mansion?
Simon: Yes, but he stayed here when he had business in the city. Or "business."
Vanessa: Affairs?
Simon: He was loyal to our mother. But they were young when she passed. He had a long time to secretly sleep with other women.
Vanessa: Now Opal lives in one of those rooms?
Simon: I'm in the master.
Vanessa: Oh, he only slept with women in the master bedroom?