Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 142728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
“It’s still…” Why can’t I find the right words? I was full of them earlier. “I don’t buy the argument that taking off all your clothes is somehow empowering. Even if it’s supposedly your choice. If that’s the only option a woman has, then it’s not a choice, you know?”
He blinks a few times, as if he’s entered into a different argument than he expected. “I get what you’re saying,” he says. “I do. I’m not trying to be a dick and play semantics with you. You’re not wrong.” He stops and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “It can be a seedy business. No doubt about it. We try to keep everything clean and safe for the girls.” He lets out a cynical laugh. “A lot of MCs run strip clubs. Sort of comes with the territory.”
I didn’t realize a “club” had the need to operate a business. “Why?”
“Cash business.” He shrugs, indicating I can infer whatever I want from that. “I think I understand your point about choice. But a lot of the girls are dancing to pay for college. Others are stacking paper to reach a goal—to buy a house, a car. We have one girl saving to open her own nail salon. Some have kids to support…” His voice trails off, like he’s frustrated he has to explain this to anyone. “It’s not ideal. But it is a way for them to climb out of a bad situation.”
I open my mouth, a snarky quip dancing on the edge of my tongue.
But…I’m stuck on what he said about having kids to support. What would I have done when our parents died if Libby and I didn’t have Aunt Kim to take us into her home?
We had money that our parents left us. Later, we had the house and money from our aunt. But what if we didn’t have those safety nets? I still wouldn’t have placed Libby in foster care.
How would I have finished school and supported us?
Would I have had the courage to get up on a stage and bare every inch of my skin to strangers? Night after night? And then go to school the next day like everything was totally normal?
I shudder violently at the thought.
No. No, I wouldn’t.
Even though life was difficult, painful, even, after so many losses, I was privileged to not have to even entertain that choice. My options never came down to dance naked or be homeless. Strip off my clothes or put my sister in foster care.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Dex says gently. “I understand your concerns.” He lets out a soft snort of laughter. “I think I’d be curious if it didn’t bother you. But I don’t take pleasure in upsetting you.”
“I’m not upset. Just…surprised, I guess.”
“You mean, you didn’t Google everything about me right away?”
“No, I like to get my gossip the old-fashioned way. Besides, the last time I looked up info about the Lost Kings, it was terrifying.”
He shakes with laughter. “Really? Our PR must be suffering since Z moved downstate.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
He frowns as if he wants to explain in the right way. “We don’t necessarily care what civilians think of us, but we prefer to present a friendly image to the public so people leave us alone.”
“Huh.” I pull at a chunk of my hair, twirling it around my finger while I consider his words. The blonde he argued with earlier returns to my mind. “So who was the woman in the parking lot today?” I side-eye him. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not cool with you putting your penis in other women any time you get the urge. Even if you’re surrounded by pretty, naked women all night long.”
Dex snorts and glances toward the front door. “Is that what you think? I’m a sleaze who sleeps with his employees?”
“No, but come on. You’re eyeballs deep in lady gardens all night long—”
He chokes on a laugh. “Lady gardens?”
I ignore the question and continue my thought. “I can’t be the only woman you’ve ever dated who had…concerns about your job?”
Something in the air between us changes. He blinks and stares. No words. What in the hell? This big, strong man who doesn’t ever seem rattled by anything suddenly looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
“You have dated other women since your wife died, right?” I ask slowly.
“Not really.” His steady blue gaze drills into me as if daring me to doubt him.
“I’m the…”
“First one who made me forget—” He winces. “And reminded me that I’m still alive.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Dex
“Oh,” Emily breathes out. “Oh wow.”
Fuck, why’d I have to get so raw with her? This woman has a skill for making me admit things I’d rather not think about, let alone say out loud.
But the words are out now. They’re true. And I’m not taking them back. No matter how much guilt wraps around my throat.