Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
He hadn’t left the day before when I’d asked him to. He hadn’t left last night either.
I’d been glad for both, though I couldn’t have told him that. We’d ended up taking a nap together after breakfast. Around lunchtime, he’d woken me up much like he had that morning… with gentle caresses on my face, arms, and hands. They hadn’t been sexual in nature, but I hadn’t really known what to call them. It’d almost felt like he was reassuring himself that I was still there.
He’d made sandwiches for lunch, which we’d eaten in bed. We’d talked, but there’d been no mention of feelings or the past or future. Rush had simply asked me questions like what the most disgusting thing I’d ever eaten was and the best costume I’d ever worn for Halloween. My answer of Batman had been a game changer.
Rush was Team DC Comics.
Like me.
We’d spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the characters and exploring my vintage comic book collection that Rush had had to dig out of one of my many book boxes on the main floor of the house. Then the movie marathon had started. We’d stopped long enough to order a pizza and then we’d spent the next several hours with various members of the Justice League. I’d loved every moment of it, especially since I’d gotten to do it all from the safety of Rush’s embrace. I’d ended up falling asleep between movies, waking up only once during the night to find the TV off and Rush out cold with me sprawled on top of his chest and Pip asleep on his shoulder.
Both of Rush’s arms had been around me.
It had been heaven.
This morning meant it was time to come back down to earth. I’d already told the insurance company I processed claims for that I’d be off for a couple of days because of my hand, so I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself. I just knew I couldn’t do something that involved my bed… like staying in it all day and feeling sorry for myself.
Not after the things that Rush had done to me in it.
My eyes automatically shifted to the spot where Rush had given me my first kiss, then my first real orgasm. But it was the moment right after that… the one where Rush had held me and just let me purge all the fear, guilt, and shame that continued to linger.
All of that was over now. He’d done as I’d asked. He’d been the strong one and walked away.
I sighed and forced myself to sit up. My eyes fell on the open window. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It would be one of Seattle’s rare, perfect days. When I’d been younger, Con and Micah would insist on getting out and enjoying everything the Pacific Northwest had to offer.
It’d been the best time of my life.
The reminder of my family and how I’d been pushing them away for so long made all the lightness I’d been feeling disintegrate, and instead of climbing to my feet like I’d been planning, I lay back down. The alarm on my watch began to chime, indicating it was time to take my medication.
For a brief moment, I wondered what it would be like if I didn’t. I was fighting a battle where I had no idea what the outcome would be. But if I accepted the outcome, I’d been battling for months now, there’d be no more not knowing. There’d be no more waiting and praying for numbers to go down. I’d be able to spend time with my family without any of it hanging over their heads until the very end when my condition would be impossible to hide.
I shook my head. I’d come this far. I’d see it through, and in a couple of months, I’d know which path my life would take.
I just needed to hold out a little longer.
I sighed and reached for my medications on the nightstand. That was when I noticed a bottle of water sitting next to the pill bottles and a small folded-over piece of paper with my name on it.
The goodbye note.
The one that said he was giving me what I wanted; he was walking away.
“Fuck,” I whispered as tears pricked the backs of my eyes. I didn’t want to read the thing. I wanted to ball it up and throw it out the stupid window so the perfect breeze could steal it away and take every moment of the last forty-eight hours with it.
But my fingers had different ideas. I opened the note and looked for the “Dear Christopher” part, but to my surprise, there was only a handful of words scrawled on the paper.
You might want to cover your ears.
“Wha—?” I began right before there was a booming sound downstairs. It was quickly followed by another, then another. I scrambled to my feet and hurried down the stairs.