Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
I abandon the kitchen, not bothering to put away all the crap I pulled out for the pancakes. My heart and head fight an inner battle, making me feel lost. When I lie down on the bed, I rest my hand over my stomach and close my eyes.
No matter what happens tomorrow, everything is going to change.
Chapter Twelve
Luca
It’s so fucking late by the time I make it back to Selma. I didn’t want to stay a second longer in Houston than I needed to, and after things finally finished, I got on the first flight out of there.
Unfortunately that flight had two layovers with one getting pushed back three times. I couldn’t get anyone to charter me out of there, so I was at the mercy of everyone else. I was so impatient, but I also knew as soon as I got back to Selma things would be changing.
The lights are off in her place, but when I get to the bedroom I see it’s empty. “Selma?” I look around and in the bathroom, but she’s not there, and worry takes the place of surprise. Just in case, I open the guest room and I breathe a sigh of relief when I find her there in the middle of the bed.
I kick off my shoes and climb into bed still fully dressed. I pull her against me, and she mumbles something I don’t catch. But I’m so tired and it’s so late that I don’t want to ask. I only want to hold her in my arms while we sleep.
It feels like two seconds later, but I must have been asleep for at least an hour or so. There’s light coming through the window, but the bed is empty. When I reach for Selma’s spot, it’s cold, so she must have gotten up a while ago.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with the heel of my hand, I walk out of the guest room and search for her. I hear sounds coming from the kitchen, and my stomach grumbles. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday morning. Maybe I can convince Selma to go get some food while we talk.
There’s so much I want to tell her, but first, coffee.
“Hey, babe,” I say when I see her over by the sink. She doesn’t turn around, and I walk up behind her, wrapping my hands around her hips. “Why didn’t you sleep in our bed last night?”
“Our bed?” She still doesn’t turn to look at me, and her body is tense. Everything about her body language is cold, and I blink my eyes to make sure I’m awake.
“What’s wrong, is everything okay?”
She pushes a pile of papers I left on the counter before I left. “Your stuff is everywhere.”
“Sorry about that. Here, let me move it.” I grab the stack of papers, and she finally turns to face me.
“It’s everywhere, Luca. You keep bringing things over like you live here, but you don’t.” When her eyes meet mine, I see the red rim around them like she’s been crying.
“Selma, what happened?” I put the papers down and reach for her, but she takes a step back.
“It’s not what’s happened, it’s what’s going to happen. I can’t do this anymore, Luca. I see the writing on the wall, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it.”
“Wait, slow down.” I try to calm my voice but at the same time my heart is thumping out of my chest. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t around.” She swallows hard, and I see her eyes begin to water. “I care about you, Luca, but you’re here one day and then gone for three. What kind of relationship are we supposed to have when you’re not here for it?”
“Selma—”
“It’s only been a short time, and I feel myself breaking at the thought of not being with you, but I won’t live a life like I did before. I gave everything to my job, and all I had to show for it was a life alone and miserable. I’ve seen how life is on the other side of that, and I’m not ready to give it up.”
“Stop, let me speak—”
“Luca, if I let you talk then I know you’ll convince me it’s okay and we’ll make it work. I don’t want to be convinced. I know what I feel when you’re with me, and I know what I feel when you’re gone. I can’t do this.”
She shakes her head, and the tears fall.
“That’s it.” I reach out and grab her by the arms and before she can stop me, I throw her over my shoulder.
“Luca! Put me down!”
“You said you didn’t want me to talk, so I’m going to show you instead.”
“Luca Cross, you are crazy? Put me down!”
I feel her hit my back, but all I do is shake my head as I get on the elevator and push the button for the lobby.