Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100628 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100628 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
“Wrong,” I replied flatly.
“Interesting,” Lily mused. “Then what are you pouting about?”
“I’m not pouting.”
She just looked at me.
“Just didn’t feel like sittin’ at home tonight,” I mumbled as we pulled into the driveway.
“You know,” she said dryly. “You’re not even old enough to be drinking.”
“Says who?” I argued, halfway out of the truck.
“The United States of America,” she shot back with a laugh.
“Pfft.” I waved her off. “Gray drinks.”
“Gray’s old enough to buy his own beer.”
“Harper drinks.” I was pretty sure she wasn’t twenty-one yet.
Lily laughed disbelievingly. “If I saw my brainiac daughter sitting at the clubhouse drinking by herself, I’d tell her the same thing I’m telling you,” she said kindly. “Drinking is supposed to be fun, honey. Don’t fall down the rabbit hole of using it as a crutch.”
“I won’t.”
“Good,” she replied. “Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you, too, Auntie,” I murmured. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Anytime.”
I shuffled into the house and didn’t bother turning any lights on. What was the point? I was going straight to bed anyway.
All day I’d been fine. Tense, but fine. I’d almost successfully ignored the pit in my stomach and kept my mind occupied with work until it was time to clock out… and then I hadn’t been able to think about anything else.
The sight of Nova on the washing machine was burned into the back of my eyelids. I couldn’t stop from remembering the look on her face in the mirror before she’d shut her eyes. Even after she’d stopped looking at me, I’d stared. The line of her jaw, the slope of her shoulder, the way her bottom lip had a little indent right in the center, it was so clear even when she wasn’t with me. I’d joked about taking a mental snapshot, but I guess I actually had because I couldn’t seem to erase the picture of her and even worse, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Which was pretty fucking terrible, considering she was currently on a date with some random guy.
While I was drinking at the club I’d wondered if she was having a good time. As we’d driven home, I’d imagined what they were doing, where they’d had dinner, if he made her laugh or not. Brushing my teeth, I’d come to the realization that dinner was long over and there was a good chance that Nova was fucking the guy somewhere… and snapped the toothbrush in two.
I needed to fucking stop it. Nova and I were best friends. No one was going to come between us. They never had and never would. So what if she started seeing some dumbfuck? After a few months—they never lasted longer than that—he’d be gone and we’d still be hanging out just like always. She’d dated plenty, and it had never changed anything between us.
Logically, I knew all of those things were true. Deep in my gut, I knew that Nova and I would be friends for the rest of our lives. It was an irrevocable fact.
I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling in the dark.
I knew why her date was bothering me so much. I fucking knew and I was trying to ignore it and the longer I lay there the less I was able to pretend like I wasn’t so jealous I could fucking scream. I imagined him touching her and even the idea of someone else’s hands on her naked body made me want to kill someone. The thought of her making the little noises she made or someone else seeing the way she grit her teeth when she got close or the little shudder she gave after she was finished made my hands clench into fists behind my head.
I was fucking losing it and I had to fix it. If Nova knew how pissed I was, how fucking betrayed I felt, she’d vanish. Oh, she’d act like everything was fine, but the best friend that I counted on would be gone. I’d seen her do it to guys before, slowly and kindly—she was always fucking nice about it—distancing herself the minute someone got too close or felt too much.
“Fuck,” I hissed, punching the bed.
Tomorrow, I was going to go out and fucking fix this. I couldn’t keep losing my shit every time Nova went out on a date. I was going to call someone up that and take her for food and then I was going to bring her back here and fuck her until I passed out. Lauren would be up for it. She was always interested in some no-strings sex and I’d never been bored with her. She wouldn’t give a shit if I was using her to erase the memory of someone else because I was pretty sure she’d be using me for the same thing.
I’d told Nova that things between us would stay the same. She was out doing whatever and I needed to follow her lead. It was the only way we’d be on level ground again, and I could stop making myself crazy by imagining her fucking some random. It would work.