Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 55744 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55744 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand," she said as she gave him a withering stare. "You just helped yourself to my personal documents? Did you ask your mother for them?"
"No, I took them from the safe. No big deal."
"No big deal?" Her spine stiffened and she pulled on her arm, watching him with reproachful eyes. "Let go of me."
"Bullshit."
"Nick," she hissed in anger.
He didn't let go. His face came closer to hers, impatience emblazoned across his features. "I'm not getting this, Courtney. You didn't think this was about marriage? That's it's always been about marriage for as long as I can fucking remember?"
Seething with anger and pain, a single tear that she couldn't contain rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, not wanting to show weakness, but that ship had sailed. Obviously past the point where she could contain her hurt feelings, she knew there was no room left for her pride. "I've always guessed it was about marriage," she admitted. "I've always hoped it was about marriage." Her face fell from his and her eyes filled with tears as the knot of pain in her stomach exploded. "But I wanted a proposal, Nick. I wanted a ring," she mumbled. She swallowed and lifted her eyes back to his, her anger roaring back.
"But instead of a proposal, you steal my documents? That was a shit move on your part."
Nick froze but remained silent. A thousand different emotions crossed his face and she easily recognized a few: Torture, anger, remorse, passion, shock, impatience. She focused on the remorse and tried to get him to see what he'd done. "Don't you understand? You're the only one I truly have. You're the only person in my life who loves me for me." She stared up at him while he looked down at her in silence, listening intently as she spoke.
Her voice crumpled as the tears started flowing freely as she recognized the blatant concern now showing on his face. "Your family doesn't really count, because I was forced on them, you know?" She grimaced and looked away before reluctantly sliding her eyes back to his. "I don't have parents to rely on if push comes to shove. You're everything to me. I love you with everything I have and I guess . . . I suppose I thought that you'd recognize that this moment needed to be special for me . . . how important belonging to you is to me . . . you belonging to me . . . that you'd be considerate of my feelings and understand that I needed the words, the motions, the ritual . . . " Her voice trailed off as she reached out with her free hand and balanced it on his chest, trying to convey her pent-up emotions and looking for stability at the same time.
Courtney emerged from her diatribe to complete silence. Nick was staring at her with a look of mixed regret and horror on his face. He brought her hands between them as he held them in his. He swallowed hard and his jaw flexed. "Babe, I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't know what to say."
His turmoil softened her heart. She shook her head, just once. "You don't have to say much. I'm not going to let one tiny bump ruin everything. Just tell me you want to marry me. Tell me you'll keep me safe and be my family." She sucked in a breath. "If you promise me that, I'll forgive you for taking my things without asking, and I'll walk inside that courthouse with you and we'll get a marriage license, because I want to marry you so badly that I can barely think of anything else."
****
Nick was appalled that he'd fucked up so badly. Courtney was being open and honest with him, but there was still a part of him that was trying to hide from the truth, and that couldn't go on.
There was no question; he had to fix this, and fix it now. There was only one way he knew how to do that, and that was to tell her the complete truth. He needed to stop being a scared, fucked-up pussy and start acting like a man. He knew she loved him. She'd just said so, again. And he knew she meant it.
Letting go of her hands, very gently, he wrapped one arm behind her back to lend support and with the other, lifted her chin and stared down into the beautiful blue eyes that had held him enthralled for more years than he could count. "I love you. I've loved you since you were a teenager and I've waited for what seems like my whole godforsaken life for you. All I've ever wanted was for you to love me back and to marry me, to let me be your family." He looked into the beautiful face that was like an addiction to him. "Baby, you're the one who doesn't understand. You're my obsession; you're what I've worked for and lived for my entire life. I not only want to be the one to keep you safe, I've fantasized about it since you were young." He reached down and kissed her on the forehead, forcing himself to hold her gently and not in a grasp so tight that she wouldn't be able to breathe.