Total pages in book: 22
Estimated words: 19506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 98(@200wpm)___ 78(@250wpm)___ 65(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 19506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 98(@200wpm)___ 78(@250wpm)___ 65(@300wpm)
“Over time, he became less thankful and demanded more of me. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house without his permission. I couldn’t refuse sex or he would berate me and threaten to go find someone better; he reminded me often that he had options and I did not. He said that I was just a pathetic nerd who should be grateful he gave me a second glance; that I should worship the ground he walked on and do whatever he wanted me to do.”
“He wore me down so much that my dumb ass believed all of that, and I stayed. Soon, things got even more intense. He pressured me into picking up smoking, and once even had me take some pills. I’m not even sure what they were; all I know is that they fucked me up and it scared me to death. I think that was the moment I realized I’d completely lost myself in the relationship. I was trying so hard to make him like me that I no longer liked myself.”
"That was my tipping point to say enough was enough. It became glaringly obvious that Brad never liked me; he just wanted someone to control and insult. He wanted someone whom he thought was beneath him to order them around. He wanted me hooked on drugs and alcohol so I wouldn’t leave, and he wanted me to feel insignificant so I wouldn’t think I deserved better. He wanted me to take his abuse.”
Rider nodded solemnly in agreement. "Once I realized that it was abuse, I decided to leave. I was afraid of what he might do if I told him, so I waited until he was passed out one night and ran. I moved to the opposite side of town and changed my phone number so he couldn't reach me. Even though I loved it, I quit my job at the library so that he couldn't find me. I took work at the Chinese restaurant because he hates that type of food, so he'd never go in there."
"I rarely go anywhere unless it's just driving around because I don't want to risk bumping into him. That's why it was so strange for me to go to the club last night, and why I was so defensive. I guess I try to push everyone away so that nobody can hurt me. That's why I was so rude to you, why I was scared, and why I still feel so stupid."
Getting the story out felt as if a weight had been lifted from my chest. It was the first time I'd discussed it with anyone, and I left nothing out.
Rider's worry line was even more pronounced than before, and his eyes glistened as he clasped his other hand on top of mine. "Trey, you have no reason to feel stupid, or badly about yourself in any way. Brad preyed on your insecurities to use and abuse you. He is a despicable person and getting away from him was incredibly brave. I am so proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too."
I couldn't remember the last time (if ever) someone told me that, and I didn't know what to say. I cast my eyes down at the table as my lips pulled into a smile. I couldn't remember the last time I did that either.
"Thank you for trusting me with your story. It's an honor and I promise to never betray your trust; not just with this, but in any way."
My chest warmed with his promise and my acceptance of it, even though I didn’t grasp how it was possible. The past few months since I’d left Brad, I hadn’t trusted anyone, yet I had faith in this man I’d only known for a couple of hours. The strangest thing of all was that the decision didn’t feel careless; it felt right.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Rider asked, nodding towards my plate, which held the remnants of my sandwich. “I can make you something else if you’d like.”
“No thanks, I’m good.” My stomach was full and my soul was light. Sharing my burden gave me peace that soaked into every cell. My jaw dropped into a wide yawn. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
“It’s still the middle of the night,” Rider pointed out, “And you’ve been through an ordeal. Your body needs rest.”
He stood up and rounded the table to pull my chair out for me. Even though I felt okay, I didn’t protest when he wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me while we walked back to his bedroom. He pulled back the blankets and when I climbed onto the mattress, I felt a sharp pang in my side.
“You can take some more medicine if you’d like,” Rider offered. “It’s been four hours.” When I agreed, he hurried to the kitchen and brought me back a glass of water. He took care of me without batting an eye.