Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Was that the reason for his sudden change of tune?
What felt like blinding jealousy bombarded me.
Jade lifted Bea up to hold her. “She smells so good. What is that?”
“It’s Dreft, the baby detergent I use on her clothes.”
“Maybe I should give you some of my clothes to wash. She smells so fresh and clean.”
I was totally over the small talk. “What brings you here, Jade?”
Sitting down on the couch and placing Bea on her lap, she said matter-of-factly, “I screwed up.”
“What do you mean?”
“I fucked everything up with Justin. This past year, I’d given everything I had to my job and nothing to him. I took him for granted. Did he say anything to you about why we broke up?”
“He just told me that he ended things when he went back to New York earlier this summer. He didn’t really go into the details.”
“It was a misunderstanding.”
“How so?”
“He’d come to surprise me and found me having dinner at the apartment with my co-star, Greg Nivens. Justin jumped to conclusions. Nothing was going on with Greg. It was a business meeting. Things had been rough between Justin and me for a while before that, but I would have never cheated on him.”
“So, you’re here to—”
“Get my man back. Yes. I never fought for him. I never pleaded with him. I was in such shock with the way things ended that I never truly reflected on my responsibility in all of it. It was basically all my fault. I still love him so much.”
No.
No.
No.
This unexpected and imminent threat was putting my true feelings to the test. I was terrified to lose him, terrified he’d go back to New York with her. My body stiffened in defense, somehow preparing to go to war in a battle it was destined to lose.
“Wow. I don’t know what to say. I—”
Justin’s deep voice startled me. “Jade. What are you doing here?”
She stood up, still carrying Bea. “Hi.”
His eyes shifted over to me briefly then back to her.
“How long have you been here?” he asked.
“Just a few minutes. I came all the way here because we need to talk. Can we go somewhere? Maybe take a walk on the beach?”
My chest felt heavy, and I was sweating from nerves.
Justin looked over at me again in a fleeting glance before saying, “Let me get my jacket.”
When the door shut behind them, all of the fear I’d been holding in released from me in one swift breath only to start building up again in my gut.
I looked over at Bea and spoke to her like she could understand. “I don’t want him to leave.”
She cooed and babbled while she smacked her hand down on one of the squeaky toys attached to her playset.
“I’m afraid to be with him and afraid to be without him.”
She blew a couple of raspberries, drool dripping down her chin.
“You really adore him, don’t you?”
“Ba…Ba,” she answered.
My heart hammered against my chest. “I know. Me, too.”
***
Justin was gone for almost six hours. I was sure he wasn’t coming home.
When the key turned in the door around ten-thirty that night, I straightened up on the sofa, trying to look casual so that it didn’t appear like I’d been anxiously awaiting his return.
Justin rubbed his eyes and threw his coat on a chair. He went to the kitchen to grab a drink before taking a seat next to me.
I swallowed, afraid to ask, “Where is Jade?”
He took a sip of his beer then stared blankly down at the bottle as he twirled it around mindlessly in his hands. “She’s on her way back to New York. I drove her to the train.”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be coming back tonight.”
He was silent for a long time then looked into my eyes. “Nothing happened, Amelia.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
He spoke louder, “I don’t? Are you kidding yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem to think that I can’t see right through you. I saw your face when she showed up. You were scared. Why can’t you admit that? Why can’t you admit that you’re just as fucking scared of what’s been happening between us as I am?”
I don’t know.
When I didn’t respond, he simply said, “We took a walk on the beach…talked. Then, I drove her to the train.”
“You were gone so long. I just assumed…”
“That we were somewhere fucking? No. I drove around for a while alone just to think.”
“I see. What did you and Jade decide?”
“She thinks the real reason I ended it was because I’d found her hanging out with that guy, but that’s not the truth. I’d gone to New York with the full intention of breaking things off before I even saw her having dinner with him.”
“You explained that to her?”
“I couldn’t be completely upfront about everything.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d have to admit stuff to her that I haven’t even admitted to you…and I didn’t want to hurt her even more.”
“Things like…”
“Remember what I said about cheating?”
“That if you have the urge to cheat on someone, it’s better to just break up with that person?”
“Yeah. Well, I had the urge to cheat…with you…multiple times last summer. I thought that maybe you becoming a mother would somehow make me see you in a different light now, make me less attracted somehow, but that hasn’t been the case. It’s been the opposite. You’ve never been sexier to me. But even if nothing were to happen between us, my attraction to you is a sign that something was off between Jade and me. You shouldn’t covet someone else like that if you’re in a healthy relationship. It’s an indication that something is missing, even if you don’t know exactly what it is. I don’t believe in dragging things out if the outcome is already determined in your mind.”
“Is Jade okay?”
“Not really.”
It really did pain me to know that she was hurting. I felt bad for her and remained confused about where things stood with Justin and me.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“I’ve already told you what I want to do.”