Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“Letters?” Rem’eb asks, looking over at me.
“Messages,” I reply absently. “Written ones. I sent them to him constantly while I was away.”
And not once did he reply. I guess I should have realized I was barking up the wrong tree then. Doesn’t matter now, because I feel nothing for I’rec other than a vague fondness for an old friend. Instead, I’m wondering how a message system will change Rem’eb’s decision. If he can send me messages directly to the beach, is he going to return home anyhow and just send me a note every now and then? Maybe that’s the best of both worlds and all we can hope for.
“I don’t want anyone getting too excited yet,” Harlow continues. “It’s going to need some work before anything moves forward, but I’m excited about the possibility.”
“If you are going on to the other village, what about the rest of us?” Chalath asks. He hands a chunk of jerky over to Natalie, who takes it from his clawed hand without question and eats it. He frowns at Harlow. “How do we get back?”
“Oh. Well, Tia knows the way. Right?” Harlow looks over at me.
I nod. “Yeah, I’ve done it a few times now.” Granted, most of them were flying, but I know the route that Ashtar takes each time. He follows the mountains until he gets to a big purple one with an icier-looking peak than most, and then turns east and heads for the shore. Even from the ground, it’ll be hard to miss a mountain. I’m confident I can lead them back.
Chalath eyes me with a sour expression. “Her?”
Rem’eb jumps to his feet, a glare on his face and fists clenched. “You have a problem?”
I put a calming hand on one of his angry fists. “It’s fine. He can stay here for all I care.”
Rem’eb shoots Chalath another scowl, but his shoulders relax a bit. My mate turns to me and offers his hand. “I have a headache and wish to lie down in the tent. Will you join me?”
Getting to my feet, I put my hand in his and give the others a weak smile. “Anyone’s welcome to stay here if they don’t want to come back with us. I can send a search party for you later.”
“Harsh,” Colleen mutters as we head off.
I don’t care if it’s harsh. If they don’t think I’m capable, I can send someone else after them later. They’ll be fine as long as they stay close to the base of the ship. I’ve got bigger worries—namely what’s going to happen with Rem’eb and me. This is a conversation we need to have.
So why is my gut clenched so tight? He said he wanted to stay with me.
I’m just not sure it’s the right answer because it screws over everyone else for our happiness. I’m not sure I can live with that.
When we’re alone in the small tent, I pull my boots off and then curl up on the furs as he peels off his outer layers and then does the same. He sits across from me, crossing his legs, and then reaches for my hands. When he talks, he pitches his voice low and soft so no one else can eavesdrop. “We are here, my Tia. I can understand all your words now. Speak your feelings to me.”
My mouth goes dry. I lick my lips, thinking. I’ve wanted to say so much to him for weeks, and now that I can, my brain empties out. “I wanted to tell you how I feel,” I begin. “That was my goal for you to get this language from the ship. I needed to say everything I could to you before you left me.”
“I do not think I can leave you now. Not with a child on the way.” Rem’eb gives his head a little shake. “I knew it would be difficult, but with every day that passes, I think of waking up without you at my side, without seeing the face of our child, and I realize I am far too weak to let that happen. I care for my people, but I will give up everything for you, my mate.”
Tears fill my eyes. “But you shouldn’t have to. I hate that this is a them-or-me situation. Even if I win, I don’t feel like I’m truly winning. Someone else is going to suffer for my happiness.”
“Then you do not want me to stay?” His expression is tight, as if he’s holding back agony. “Is it because of I’rec? And the messages you sent to him?”
The messages…I stare at him in surprise. Is he jealous? “I’rec resonated to someone else before I even knew you.”
“That does not mean your heart has moved on.” He looks uneasy, his fingers twitching against mine as we hold hands, as if he wants to clutch me tighter.