Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Oh.
I feel like crying with how sweet he is. Rem’eb knew how important this was to me and here he got me a loom and wants me to get away, regardless of what happens to him. The look on his face is grave, and I’m pretty sure that when his people catch up, they’re not going to be happy with him.
My heart aches. He’s going to go back because he feels responsible. He’s going to give me up—give resonance up—all because he feels a sense of duty to them. While I admire his dedication, I’m also frustrated. What about me? Why won’t he choose me?
Why doesn’t anyone fricking choose me first? Why is someone or something always more important than me?
It feels selfish to even think that way, because I know he has the good of his people at heart. Yet I’m carrying wounds from my past. It reminds me far too much of my parents. My mother was a highly sought-after defense attorney, and my father was a lobbyist working closely with Congress. Of course I wanted them to pay attention to me, but how could I complain about meals alone in the dining room when they were working late to change the world? When they were trying to make it a better place? It felt selfish even to think about asking them to spend time with me. Begging for scraps of attention feels too much like when I was shipped off to Croatoan because I was a problem. Those past wounds remain. Heck, they’re wounds from my present, too, because it seems that everyone has resonated except R’jaal and myself.
And R’jaal has apparently found someone else in captivity.
And I sort of have, too, but he’s choosing his people over me.
So yeah, it all fucking hurts, and the gift of the loom just proves to me that if he chose me, we could be happy together. We could have the life and the family I’d always dreamed of. He’d be a fantastic mate, thoughtful and caring, and my throat knots up with yearning.
Why is this world so unfair?
He settles the coveted loom over my shoulder and then cups my face. “We must move fast. If I tell you to run ahead, you must do so. Understand?”
I nod, blinking back tears. The “building” sensation in my chest feels more powerful today than ever before. It feels like a bubble in my chest, getting ready to pop.
Rem’eb kisses me, and then we’re running. He clasps my hand tight as he leads me through one winding tunnel after another. All I can think about is that this isn’t fair. That I’m losing him just as I’ve found him. I fight back this selfishness as he guides me through the underground maze, until we run into another group.
It’s R’jaal.
My initial relief soon turns to confusion. He’s healthy and fussing over a strange blonde human woman I’ve never seen in my life. There’s a few of the other ancestors from Rem’eb’s village with R’jaal, and we’re all quickly introduced. I meet Set’nef the Wanderer, his brother Tal’nef the Swiftest, and a charming, excitable female ancestor named Noj’me the Attendant. Everyone’s very nice and very confused to run into us.
R'jaal quickly takes the lead and explains the situation to me. They’re helping him and Rosalind (the strange blonde) escape, and the ancestors intend on joining the beach community of Icehome.
It’s only Rem’eb who wants to return, ironic because he’s the only one I want to stay. And as R’jaal kisses and touches the human woman, lost in the throes of resonance, that awful feeling of unfairness continues to burn in my belly.
Rem’eb can’t be swayed from his decision. He looks dismayed, sure, but when he decides it’s time for him to leave, I can tell he won’t change his mind. Duty is more important than me.
Well, fuck all that.
Instead of letting him leave, I club him over the head.
And when that doesn’t work, I blow mushroom powder in his face and it fells him flat. Let the others think I’m doing it for the common good. That I’m ‘saving’ our group so Rem’eb can’t tell anyone where we’ve gone. I know the truth of the matter - I’m doing it because I’m selfish. Because I want resonance with him. I want him at my side. I want him back at Icehome with me.
I can take a captive, too.
Chapter
Nineteen
TIA
Iignore the betrayed, hurt looks that Rem’eb shoots my way as our group escapes out of the fruit cave and back into the snows. He struggles to escape, so the men tie him up and drag him along with us, and my guilt grows larger by the minute. We don’t have a choice, though.
Rem’eb has to come with me, because I know we’re going to resonate. I just know it.