Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 80969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Because he can handle that. He can handle the bad.
It’s the good that he’s terrified of.
“You’re not going to scare me away, River.”
I take his face in my hands, lifting his face to mine. His cheeks are damp. I wipe them dry with my thumbs.
“I know bad. And you are not it. You can be a total douche-canoe at times.” I give him a watery smile. “But you do that to keep people away. I get that. You had your trust and innocence stolen from you at a young age. You had to … fight to survive. You could’ve given up, but you didn’t. And you still haven’t. You’re out there, fighting the good fight, trying to save other children from the suffering you endured. You might not do it in a way that people agree with. Violence is not something I agree with; I hate it. But, if anyone ever hurt Olive …” I close my eyes on a blink, exhaling a breath. “She’s not even here yet, but I know without a doubt that I would kill them with my bare hands without a second thought. Everyone is capable of violence, River. Even me, who endured it. Sometimes, animals—no, not animals because Buddy is an animal, and he’s awesome. No, pure evil, like my ex-husband and your stepfather and those sick mother-fudgers you … deal with … they only understand their own language. And, if you can save just one child, then … I get it. I really do.”
He’s looking at me with such a rawness; it’s stripping away everything I thought I knew and believed.
I never would have thought that I could care for someone who lived with violence as part of their daily life.
But River is showing me that there isn’t just black and white.
There’s gray in all its varying shades.
There are people like Neil and River’s stepdad who take their own pleasure in hurting people who don’t deserve it. They’re sadistic, sick C-U-Next-Tuesdays.
And then there are people like River, who have lived the pain and suffering that those sadistic, sick C-U-Next-Tuesdays doled out … and the law, the justice system, has failed them, so they fight fire with fire.
The Bible says an eye for eye.
Maybe God knew that not everyone could be dealt with the same.
There are those you can punish using the justice system.
And then there are those who live outside the law. Those who are so purely evil that sitting them in a jail cell is not going to make an iota of difference.
So, you speak to them in the only way they know.
I guess that’s why some states still have corporal punishment.
“You don’t see me … differently now?” he says barely above a whisper. “Knowing everything.”
“Do you see me differently after what I told you about my ex?”
“Of course not.” He empathetically shakes his head.
“Then, you have your answer. The only thing I see is more of you. All of you. And I like every part.”
He lets out a breath that sounds so relief-filled that it makes my chest ache.
Turning to me, he cups his hand around the back of my head and leans his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and breathe him in.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
“For what?”
“For being here. For being you.”
A tear runs from the corner of my eye.
He tugs me closer to him and lies back against the sofa, bringing me with him. My bump rests against his hard stomach. I lay my head on his chest, just listening to the steady beat of his heart.
His fingers start to run through my hair. I suddenly feel exhausted.
“What color is your hair naturally?” he asks.
I tilt my face up to look at him. “Blonde.”
He holds some strands of my hair up, rubbing it between his fingers. “I can’t imagine you as a blonde.” He looks into my eyes. “I like the red.”
“Yeah, I do, too,” I say, lowering my face back down.
I snuggle in closer. He wraps his arms around my waist and strokes his fingers over my bump.
“What was your name before you changed it?”
“Annie.”
“Carrie suits you better.”
“I think so.”
He’s silent a moment. “Carrie … I want you to know that I …”
He stops, and I hold my breath, waiting for what he’s going to say.
“You will always be safe with me. You and Olive. I will never let anyone hurt either of you.”
I place my hand over his heart. “I know. I trust you, River Wild.”
He exhales softly and presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head.
“I trust you, too, Red.”
Carrie
“Oof, that mother-trucking hurts.” I pause on my way back from the bathroom—because you know, that’s where I spend a good portion of my life nowadays—and grab hold of the sofa, bending forward ever so slightly while I wait for the pain to subside.
I’ve been feeling off all day. I keep getting these tightening pains in my stomach. They feel like period cramps. They started this morning while I was at work. But they weren’t as strong as they are now.