Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 75754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Whether she needed to weave a sob story…or come on strong. Whether she needed to bitch about her abusive husband to get the man’s protective instincts turned on full force.
You name it and she could accomplish that persona.
And it was sickening.
Something I could watch my mother accomplish even at the young age of ten years old.
I wasn’t a stupid girl by any means, and I knew exactly what my mother was doing.
Which was why I always-always-told the truth, even if it hurt to do so.
Which was also why, that day when cops had come to answer the 911 call I’d made, I’d told them I was of sane mind. I hadn’t said a thing to defend myself.
Because I wasn’t insane with grief.
I knew exactly what was happening, and was of sound mind and body as I shot my husband.
“So after I started to search for you, I seemed to hit dead end after dead end. Checked hospitals and police stations. Put your face onto a milk carton,” he answered. “You were just gone.”
My mother dropped me off at a hospital. She’d gone outside to grab her wallet while I was getting screened for a concussion that I never had, and just never came back.
It was a hospital in a small town that I’d never heard of before, at least when I was a child, and the search for my mother didn’t last long.
Apparently, it was something that happened a lot…usually only with younger kids…not ten year old’s.
“I’m sorry,” I told him honestly.
My mother had been a shit head…what could I say?
I’d done my best not to become her.
Had gone to classes.
Gone to college.
Had a life…at least until Bender came along.
“Not your doing, honey girl. Just wish I would’ve seen you a long time ago. Although you’re a long way from El Paso, Texas,” he answered.
I nodded.
It was weird how things worked.
Lily and I had decided to go all the way to the University of Louisiana in Monroe, Louisiana of all places once we graduated high school.
Bender was the only one from our high school that was going there, on a scholarship. That didn’t really enter into our decision. I’m not even sure we knew that he was going to be around that area. We just wanted out.
We’d chosen a place on the map that was close enough to get to with one bus ticket, and was a good school to boot.
It worked out for Lily…just not for me.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel somewhat responsible. I knew my mom’s information. I could’ve told them what it was…I just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be associated with her anymore. I hated her…hated how I wasn’t allowed to go outside. Hated how she kept me in a closet when she had her men over. Hated how she ‘forgot’ to feed me. Hated how I had to listen to her and her conquests have sex all night long. Hated that I had such a drive to learn…yet she wouldn’t let me. I hated her. Hated my life. I wanted something different…so I just didn’t tell them who I was. Had I done that,” I shook my head. “I could’ve had a different life.”
“But you wouldn’t have me,” an achingly familiar voice said from behind me.
I closed my eyes as Sterling’s deep baritone voice slid over me, filling me up in places that I hadn’t realized were empty. The man had the power to bring me to my knees, yet he never once asked that of me. He loved me…and I was glad he’d come looking. I hadn’t wanted to leave…only needed a reason to stay. Needed him to put forth the effort. Because I wouldn’t turn out to be my mother. Wouldn’t live off of any man that I’d manipulated into keeping me with him.
I didn’t turn around, but my eyes closed in happiness when Sterling’s hands started to tangle in my hair.
“Why are you here?” He asked.
I could tell that was directed at Able without even looking to clarify.
Able was shooting death rays at Sterling over my head, and I wanted to smile at how ‘dad like’ it was.
But then the tension started to slowly make itself known, and I froze in my seat as I took stock of what was going on.
How Sterling’s hand in my hair had come to a standstill.
How Able looked at Sterling like he was the scum of the earth.
“What’s going on?” I finally asked, worried.
“How about you tell me why you’re having breakfast with my stepfather when you should be waiting for me at the hotel room I paid for,” Sterling snapped.
Chapter 14
I suck at apologies. So unfuck you…or whatever
-Ruthie to Sterling
Sterling
“Thanks,” I muttered, walking inside the restaurant and walking straight past the hostess stand.
“Sir, can I help…”
I held up my hand to the woman and kept walking, heading straight to the woman that had left without so much as a word.
Who would’ve left me had she not been stopped.
By the man I’d had under surveillance since I’d come home from that clusterfuck of a mission.
I’d been talking to Loki about the man we saw set fire to Ruthie’s house when I’d received a call from the prospect saying he couldn’t find Ruthie. Then another, not even twenty minutes later, saying that the man I was watching, Able, had picked up whom he thought was my woman.
And when I’d come to the restaurant that the prospect, Alfie, had followed them to, I’d seen the two of them in a deep conversation.
Which led me to now as I stalked into the building and headed to the table I’d seen her sitting at through the window.
She was in the exact same spot, only I couldn’t see her face.
Able saw mine, though, and stiffened.
Ruthie didn’t, though.
She kept talking animatedly, moving her hands and body as she spoke.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel somewhat responsible. I knew my mom’s information. I could’ve told them what it was…I just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be associated with her anymore. I hated her…hated how I wasn’t allowed to go outside. Hated how she kept me in a closet when she had her men over. Hated how she ‘forgot’ to feed me. Hated how I had to listen to her and her conquests have sex all night long. Hated that I had such a drive to learn…yet she wouldn’t let me. I hated her. Hated my life. I wanted something different…so I just didn’t tell them who I was. Had I done that,” I shook my head. “I could’ve had a different life.”