Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
I’m in my bedroom packing a small bag, nothing extravagant. Natasha is on speakerphone, though I have to listen closely to hear her past the radio. I turned it on the second I called her like we’re in a spy flick, and I can’t risk being overheard.
“You sound drunk,” Natasha says. “Are you?”
“No, I don’t drink. You know that.” I’m still reeling from the scene at the cemetery and the ride over here. If I sound intoxicated, that’s why.
She laughs softly. “I know, but seriously, you sound giddy. You can tell me you’re nervous and unsure if you should do this, but you can’t deny you want to.”
“If it wasn’t for the argument, there’s no way I’d leave right now. I’d normally be here for the anniversary, but I don’t know. I just can’t.”
“You don’t have to justify it to me. Honestly, I think you should enjoy it.”
“Enjoy it?” I try to laugh as if I can pretend the thought of finding pleasure in this hasn’t crossed my mind. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to.”
“Think of the sights, the experiences, at least. Isn’t that what Miss Poet would want?”
“That’s what Kai said,” I murmur. “It would be a good inspiration for poetry. I was a little surprised he even remembered I liked poetry. Maybe Ryan mentioned it to him or something.”
“Or maybe you made more of an impression than you think.”
“Ew, Nat,” I say. “I wasn’t even eighteen the last time he saw me.”
“I don’t mean like that. I think you’re a special person. It’s not surprising to me he remembered something about you. Anyway, you’re his best friend’s little sister.”
“Like I need reminding of that.”
“Sorry. I’m not helping, am I?”
I stuff a T-shirt into my bag, knowing I have to preserve space. “No, I’m sorry. You’re right. I should try to enjoy it for what it is. It’s not like he has any of the same feelings.”
Natalie doesn’t disagree with this. Instead, she tells me she has dance practice in a few hours. After graduating, she moved out of town and joined a dance troupe in LA. She’s bussing tables and cleaning offices to make it financially viable. It’s hard, but she’s doing it. I respect her so much for that.
“Remember what I said,” she says toward the end of the phone call. “Try to enjoy it.”
“I will.”
It’s crazy, but there’s a big, big part of me that blames Ryan for this. If he’d never told me about Dad, the secret, I know I could find the willpower to stay. I’d have to for my and Ryan’s tradition for Dad, but clearly, Ryan doesn’t care. He’s the one who asked Kai to take me. Ryan never would’ve done that if he knew the truth, but he did. He asked him. He wants me gone.
I zip up my bag, taking a moment to summon my resolve. I’ll ignore all the ways Kai tempts me. I won’t cave to the desire inside. He’s a lone wolf, but maybe he could exempt me. No, I need to let this love die.
Wait, am I writing poetry by accident? It’s rhyming in my head. I’ve always been mentally linguistic, thinking in words more than images. I imagine Kai’s mind all hunger, scents, and primal impulses, and then his voice calls over it all when he feels like it, a God’s voice, husky and strong.
I pick up my bag and take a breath. I think I’m ready. I hope.
I stop outside the living room, knowing this is wrong but that they haven’t heard me yet. The door is slightly open, but not enough for them to see me.
Their voices come through the walls like when I was a kid. Back then, they talked about fighting and bikes. Sometimes, Ryan would talk about girls, but not Kai. He’d just grunt or stay silent.
I used to tell myself it was because he was waiting for me. Like I said to Natasha, that’s ew, but it’s what I used to think. Now, I step close and push my ear against the wall.
“Thanks for doing this,” Ryan says.
“You don’t have to keep saying that.”
Kai sounds even more pissed than I guessed he would be. He sounds like he’s just been tasked with entertaining the boss’s annoying tagalong sister.
“I mean it,” Ryan replies. “She needs to get away for a few days, clear her head, forget about Mom and Dad and all that crap.”
“You’ve had it tough. Both of you.”
Ryan laughs quietly as I adjust my position against the wall. I was about to step on the notoriously squeaky floorboard by mistake.
“We haven’t experienced anything compared to you.”
Kai’s laugh turns into more of a grunt, just like the old days. “That old stuff? It’s ancient history.”
“You were a kid.”
“I said it’s ancient history.”
There’s an edge to Kai’s voice. It’s common knowledge that something terrible happened to Kai as a teenager before he moved to Melusine to live with his aunt at eleven. Then his aunt up and left, leaving Kai with her ex-boyfriend. Then the boyfriend left, and Kai lived in that house alone with help from the Titans. He showed right away he was born to the life.