Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
“Kai, I’ll be—”
“You’re waiting,” he snaps. “I can’t let you go alone. If something happened to you, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”
So much emotion enters his voice, fear and protection. He squeezes my hand tighter. He’s not holding me with as much strength as he could. I know that, yet even this small amount is a terrifying preview of the power he can generate.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll wait.”
He lets me go after a pause, pushing more change into the vending machine. Once he’s done, he follows me to the bathroom. I go inside and handle my business, taking longer than I technically need to. As I wash my hands, I think about what will happen when or if Ryan learns the truth about his best friend and me.
Is there a chance that Ryan will give us his blessing? Is there a chance he’ll understand how badly we need each other? More likely, he’ll hate me and Kai. It’ll tear the club apart.
“Are you okay?” he asks when I’m done.
“Yeah… fine.”
“Let’s eat,” he says.
We walk over to a small bench a few feet from the parked bike. Another car drives past on the road, but then everything is quiet again. Kai bites into his food forcefully like he’s angry with it. I munch my chips.
“We’ll take another road trip one day,” he says, cracking his can open and sipping the bright orange energy drink. “This stuff is poison, but at least it’ll keep me alert.”
“Another road trip, hmm?” I ask.
He smirks. He can’t hide the seriousness in his eyes. He can’t hide that dark aura, but the twitch in his lips feels significant. He’s making an effort when he has every reason to keep his distance. He shared the most vulnerable parts of himself with me, his most vicious memories, and he’s not closing off. It feels like a privilege.
“When the war’s done,” Kai says. “When we don’t have to look over our shoulders, I’ll take you someplace. Maybe somewhere we’ve already been before. Maybe somewhere new.”
“Why would you want to go somewhere we’ve already been?”
I get the sense there’s so much he wants to say. He leans over and gently brushes the hair from my face. It sends sizzling desire all through my body. “Because when we go there the second time,” he says, “we’ll be different people. The war will be over. Ryan—” He cuts himself off. He can’t bring himself to say Ryan will approve of us. He can’t even hint at it, the thing we both want so badly. “All of this will seem like a bad dream.”
“I hope so,” I whisper.
We eat without talking for a while. It gives me time to wonder if he was referring to something specific when he said he wanted to visit someplace we’ve been before.
Deep in my heart,
In a place I cannot let myself see,
A vivid piece of art,
Shows my man on one knee, looking up at me.
I know one question,
Is all it takes,
To put our love in its rightful place.
Is that what he’s referring to? A proposal?
“You look so beautiful when you zone out like that,” he says.
I can’t stop myself from smiling. Guilt tries to throttle me and end the smile, but I don’t let it. Soon, whatever we’re building here could turn to ash. We might as well enjoy it while we can.
“So I’m ugly when I’m zoned in, huh?”
He grins. “You’re even beautiful when you’re fishing for compliments.”
Soon, it’s time to leave again. When Kai stands, his demeanor changes, becoming all business. He takes our wrappers to the trashcan and then gestures toward the bike. As I climb on, part of me wishes we could stay in this pocket of nowhere, pretending the rest of the world was just a dream.
Hours later, we stop at a gas station. Kai pumps and then turns to me. The closer we get to home, the more serious he’s become. Now, he looks ready to fling himself into violence at a moment’s notice.
“Come inside with me,” he says, reaching out and then letting his hand drop. It’s like he doesn’t want to touch me when somebody we know could see us.
I will myself to reach out and touch his hand, but what if a Titan happens to be out this way? What if he sees us and tells Ryan before I have a chance to do it myself? I’d never stop feeling like the world’s worst sister.
We walk into the gas station together, standing so close our shoulders almost touch. I plan to head over to the magazines and browse while Kai settles the gas bill. I remember our gas station games. I doubt we’ll be having any laughs this time.
Before I can walk over to the stall, Kai says something in an urgent tone of voice. “Kay, get behind me.”