Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
“A-fucking-men,” Jimmy says, clapping me on the shoulder.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kayla
I sit at Ryan’s bedside, holding his hand as gently as possible, waiting for him to wake up. He’s been in and out of sleep for the past two days, never able to say more than a few words, just telling me he’s happy I’m here. He tells me he loves me and looks at me through bleary, terrified eyes, looking much younger than he is.
It’s been two days since Kai shot those men in the gas station. I had my eyes closed, but I know he must’ve moved lightning-fast to do that. He must’ve pulled his second gun free so quickly, with far more vicious intent than anybody would guess for a man his size. Other than when he visits Ryan, I haven’t seen Kai, but we’re never alone. Other Titans are there. We can only steal glances at each other.
The late afternoon sun bleeds through the curtains behind Ryan. The machines beep quietly. I sometimes wish they were louder so I could hold on to the beep beep beep noise and tell myself his body is strong. He’ll make it. Then slowly, he peels his eyes open. Even slower, a smile spreads across his lips. He looks so young as his eyes go wide.
“Hello, sis. Still here?”
I try to return his smile, but my heart is breaking, shattering right down the middle as I think about the first time I kissed his best friend. More than kissed him. The steaminess, the declaration of forever.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Is that why you stink so bad, huh?”
I laugh, prodding him playfully and softly. “You’re one to talk.”
“Bullet, gut. Bad combination.”
“You seem more lucid than last time.”
He nods shortly. “Can I get some water?”
“Of course. Sorry. What am I thinking?”
I go to the corner of the room, grab a bottle of water, and bring it to him.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he says as I unscrew the cap.
When I motion to help him drink it, he groans, shaking his head. He reaches up, takes the bottle, and carefully brings it to his lips. Some drips down his chin, but not much. This is usually where he’d fall back asleep, but he seems stronger now. He lays the bottle down and sits up, wincing, eyes open.
“You can yell at me now if you want,” he says with a grin. “I know I shouldn’t have lied.”
“I’m not going to yell. I understand why you did it. You were protecting me, and you were right. I never would’ve left on Dad’s anniversary if we didn’t have that fight.”
“Who told you?” Ryan asks, and I realize my mistake.
He doesn’t officially know that I know about the lie. When he said I could yell at him, he could’ve been talking about the lie that he knew Dad was sick. I can’t do anything except tell him the truth. The guilt has been doggedly chewing at my sense that I’m a good person, a great sister, somebody who can look in the mirror proudly, without shame.
“Kai. Randall—that man, the hitman, whatever he was—was following us.”
“Kai saved your life,” Ryan says, his smile getting sleepy as his head falls back. “I’m not mad he told you. He did the right thing. He always does the right thing. He’s the most capable man I’ve ever known.”
“He is,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “He’s the best.”
Ryan tilts his head and raises his eyebrow. “Are you okay?”
I rub my cheeks. “I’m fine. Happy you’re awake.”
“Is that all?” he asks, staring at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re trying to read my mind.”
He chuckles, but it sounds labored. “It’s just this tone you get when you talk about Kai. I think they’re pumping me full of drugs. I shouldn’t be saying any of this.”
It feels like I’m on a tightrope, hands held to my sides as I attempt not to fall.
“Do you still have a crush on him?” Ryan asks, and I fall.
I collapse backward in my chair, wringing my hands, trying to laugh and pretend it’s all a big joke. Panic rises, and bad poetry flows endlessly, a busted fountain in my mind.
“It’s okay,” Ryan says dreamily. “You don’t have to be ashamed.”
“How did you know?”
“I could just tell.”
“Did he ever know?”
“No,” Ryan says. “He was clueless. He saw you as my kid sister, nothing else, but I always knew you had a thing for him.”
“Weren’t you mad?”
“Why would I be?”
“He’s your best friend.”
“It’s not my decision who you fall for. Anyway, girls get crushes all the time. It’s not a big deal.”
I swallow, massaging my forehead, knowing I shouldn’t say this without Kai here. I can’t keep listening to those beeping machines—reminders of what Ryan suffered—and lie to him.
“What if it wasn’t just a crush?” I ask. “What if it was more than that? What if we wanted to be together?”